The chair

You know you're getting on a bit when you buy one of these chairs and then go on and on about how fab they are for ages. They are good though, they have a wee hole in the arm for a cup and they fold up like a brolly and...............

Good luck Rob.

I just want to say a great big thank you tonight to a special person. Rob lived next door to us and he's been a friend of Mike and Chris's since they were all weeny. He's in the army now and a team of them are doing a 30 mile trek tomorrow and donating to the CF trust.

Huge thanks to all the team for raising much needed funds for the CF Trust, you're all stars.

I'm on a mission now to find a pic of the three of them when they were weeny *grin*

Update

Reviewing my 1-10 list today I realised I'd knocked a couple off, I got in a lift (a massive phobia) apologies to the brave people who accompanied me, read some books that are stretching my brain, I say stretching because it still has a way to go before I can say I know what they're on about and I got on a horse, albeit a mechanical one that tries its best to chuck you off, and it did. But the best by far has to be the amendment I will soon have to make to number 1.

1. Be a nurse (this will take 4 years)

I will very soon be making that read.

1. Be a nurse (this will take 3 years)

I've loved this course and hated it at times, but the very best feeling in the world is that I've actually stuck at it.

Wind ups have made a come back in the last week as well. I asked our Mike to come to Sainsburys with me, I don't do that very often and now I know why. As we were patiently waiting for the lady in front of us to pay her bill our Mike slapped her on the shoulder and announced 'put your money away, me mum will pay for your shopping' it was a tense moment, the lady looked at me, the man on the till looked at me and our Mike looked at me. I was frozen for a minute and then laughed artificially, then we all laughed hysterically. Yesterday I was sitting quietly in the kitchen reading one of the mind stretching books when I heard this massive pounding at the front door, then this thunderous voice was shouting eh you!, being deaf in my right ear I ran to the back door (you always hear the noise from the opposite direction when you're deaf in one ear) whereupon this hand landed on my shoulder and I screamed, I wasn't amused.......then I was and laughed hysterically again........brilliant!

I have to get one back on Mike.

The Ball

Emily, Lorraine and me at The Barnes Boys Charity Ball.

Good stuff

I really can't believe we're on the home stretch with the course now, only one more module to go, just six weeks in fact and I will have completed an academic qualification. This is a huge thing for me because I've started and paid for a fair few courses in my life, but I've never seen them through. Why? because I didn't have the confidence in myself that I have now, but that confidence didn't just come from my own mind, it came from being surrounded by a bunch of people who wouldn't allow any one of us on the course to give up. Fellow students and tutors are invaluable in making you believe in yourself and friends who have supported me with their encouragement have constantly inspired me to keep going.

As you might have guessed I am very smiley today, I passed the last module despite the moody shoulder and life is good.

I had a cracking time at the Barnes Boys Charity Ball last Saturday and it was so lovely to meet everyone. The speeches by Lorraine and Emily were spot on, the entertainment was great and the night was a huge success. As always, everything went far too quick and we all said our goodbyes over a hearty breakfast, but such things are precious to me, they'll never be forgotten and I'll always be so glad that I got the chance to be there.

Hello

Huge thanks to everyone who posted their kind thoughts for Jessie and her family, it's very much appreciated, bless you.

It's been a funny phase this last few weeks, but things are returning to normal, now that I nearly have the use of my right neck/shoulder/arm. I've had a cracking few days in the garden getting my hands mucky and would have produced picture evidence of all my very hard work but my camera refuses to turn on. I have the greatest difficulty with many gadgets and blame it on my staticnness, for instance when I shut the car door it throws a bolt of electricity up my arm and you can guarantee if I unload the dryer my hair will be standing on end, I've wiped out more than one pc just by being in the same room and the sat nav just gives in and babbles in another language if I'm in the car. I've thought about writing to the mayor of Blackpool and asking if I can switch on the lights one year, then sitting back and watching the havoc it would create.

I'm not sure whether I passed the latest exams as the only two I took, I exited as soon as I could, due to said dodgy neck/shoulder/arm, the two others I was given an extension for and was supposed to do them over the Easter break, however they haven't happened yet, but they will.

Liverpool have just gone one up against Chelsea 4-3 c'mon Liverpool.

Nite all.

Jessie

Now and again in life you meet someone who's very special, sometimes you don't realise it at the time and other times you just know straight away that this person is someone who you'll want in your life for ever, as I did with Jessie.

Jessie first came into my life through our connection on the cf forum where we exchanged a few posts, but our friendship grew when our Chris had his transplant and I was living in a bungalow at the hospital. She rang me regularly to chat and as a mum who's daughter (Pauline) was post transplant I can't begin to tell anyone what a huge support that was, not only did it help me to look beyond the transplant but it also felt so reassuring to talk to another mum who'd been where I was.

We kept in touch and she was there for me whenever I needed to talk about Chris's recovery from the operation, it's a rocky time and quite often I'd wonder whether this or that was 'normal' so I'd pick up the phone and within minutes she'd have me wondering why on earth I was getting wound up. Just three months after Chris's transplant I was sitting in the kitchen when the phone rang "Hiya Sue, it's Jessie, where is your local train station" said this lovely Scottish voice. I couldn't believe it, how brilliant that I was going to meet her in person. I'll never forget how I felt when I first saw her, it was like I'd known her all my life and John, Mike and Chris loved her instantly.

When Chris got poorly and I was once again living in the bungalow at the hospital Jess rang me regularly and sometimes it would be very late at night when I'd text to ask if she was still up and she always said she was, bless her. Not long after we said goodbye to Chris John and I finally got up to the lovely village in Scotland where Jessie lived and we also got to meet Pauline at long last. We had a cracking time and we were made so welcome by everyone, even as we were leaving I was mentally planning when I could get back up there.

Our chance came when Jess was celebrating her 70th birthday and I couldn't wait to see everyone again, what a brilliant night that was and what an amazing family she had around her. I can honestly say I've never met anyone with as much energy as she had that night, she didn't stay still for a second.

Sadly we knew Jess was poorly but we hoped and prayed that such a special person would be around for many more years. But it wasn't to be and Jessie's family had to say goodbye to her on Mothers day.

God Bless you Jessie I'm so glad you came into my life and I'm going to miss you terribly but your wonderful outlook will be what stays with me for ever.

Praying for all Jessie's family and friends at this very sad time.

Wave alert.

I think I'm having a wave phase. It started on the way back from Tesco's when flippin Leane Ryhmes came on the radio singing 'How do I live without you' it floored me and I've been helpless ever since. It's Mothers day tomorrow and it's very hard.

Sending big hugs to all my friends who will also find tomorrow hard, I'm thinking about you all.

Going up.

I'm getting to be a right little blogger lately cos here I am again :D

I made a decision this morning to see the counsellor in college about my problem. I decided to seek him out and chuck the ball in his court, but it didn't quite work out that way. I actually bumped into him as soon as I walked in this morning and he said 'is everything going ok' or words to that effect. I blurbed it straight out 'I need your help' and he looked slightly startled for a minute, probably wondering what the heck I was going to ask him to solve. I explained, no I didn't, I whinged in a babbling manner about not being able to get in a lift.

To cut a very long story short he gave me two options, the short way or the long way. My course doesn't have all that long to run now so I chose the short option and I've been in one twice today. It was terrifying and I cried like a baby, but I did it. I just have to keep practising now and I will. Bless him, he even had the maintenance guy meet me and explain that he had a special key that would open the doors of he lift at any point. I also had a gang of trusty mates willing me on and my lovely friend in the lift with us.

I've accomplished a massive thing today and I would never have guessed that signing up to do a course would be the start of getting rid of a phobia, but hey!!! God works in mysterious ways.

1+1=3 or is it?

Back to it tomorrow and I have a couple of things I need to address

• Numbers.


• Lifts.

1. I have to be capable of not over or under dosing the patients....right.

The week before we broke up I failed the level 2 numeracy miserably. Numbers are a mystery to me, I can add, subtract, multiply, divide and other such simple things in my head, I know my tables backwards and can do the hey diddle diddle one's, but the minute it has more than one calculation and asks for the answer in a percentage, I flap, and my eyes only see the arrow that says 'next question'. Anyway today at church I got talking to a lovely girl who is also doing an access course, not to nursing though, hers is to science. She asked how I was getting on and I said fine except for the maths, 'Oh I'm really good at maths' she said. I was impressed, I get impressed when someone is really good at something I find difficult. Like when they come to fit a carpet, they fling it down any old way, push and prod and it fits perfectly, that impresses me a lot. I wandered then! Anyway she's going to sort me out next week after the service and I've decided it will click this time.

2. I can't stick the patient in a lift and say 'I'll meet you upstairs'...can I.

While I've been off this week I've been up and down to the hospital because my Auntie is in. I've been taking my mum up and she requires a wheelchair and an able body to wheel her. So far so good. Now we come to the lift, the door opens and I push my mum in, I manage to get my toes in and then I ask the nice people in the lift to push my mum out on the 2nd floor and I run in the opposite direction. I don't have a strategy in place as yet to get over this claustrophobia thing, but it's not going to beat me. I'm sure they have classes for such phobias, I mean people get over the fear of spiders, snakes and heights, I've seen them on telly.

If anyone out there has conquered a fear thing then I'd be interested to know how you did it.

Thank you very much.

Silly spend

You know when you think you 'must have' a certain thing, even though there's a naggy little voice repeating down your ear 'NO', we've all done it, surely?

Well I decided I must have this conservatory furniture, it was a snip, couch and two chairs with matching table and four chairs - £150, what a bargain. Off I went to the local DIY shop, (where I used to work) to plead for the van. Having secured it for a couple of hours I smiled a lot because I now enjoy driving different vehicles.

As soon as I saw the furniture that voice in my ear went very loud and shouted 'NO ITS TOO BIG'. I muttered back at it 'I can turn it sideways, shut up'. We had to dismantle the conservatory door at my Aunties house to get it out and the voice of reason smirked 'told ya'. I ignored it yet again because I had to have the damn thing.

Only the couch and two chairs would fit in the van so I had to leave the table and chairs there, to be picked up when I could scrounge the van again.

I don't think you have to be particularly intelligent to work out the end of this little tale, do you. I've had a nightmare of a time with it and it's now going to live in the cabin because it wont fit where I wanted it to, but will I listen to that naggy voice next time? Nope of course I wont.

Why do they make door holes so small and furniture so big?

Mike and Sophie have been ice skating tonight and I have a yen to do it, so I've added it to my 1-10 list. Incidentally my first proper date with John was at the Silver Blades ice rink in Liverpool, what a scream that was, I'm sure I have a wee pic taken in one of them booths, ahhhh! to be 16 again :D

Back to college Monday so I'm chillin big time tomorrow, it's been really good to have a week at home and spend time with people who mean a lot to me, but I'm hungry for more knowledge now.

Elated (big huge grin)

I passed the biology exam today and as long as I pass the 5 assignments, I'm there with that one. I did ok in sociology and got a good mark, pschycology I felt went ok, (won't know for definite till after half term), but................. I think I've passed the third module. Woooohoooo!!

Only two more modules to go now, I think I can do this. It's been very tough but the feeling I have tonight is indescribable.

Special thanks to every single one of you who have encouraged me and a big thank you to Vicky who sorted my head out for biology last night.

Blessed to bits I am.

Under pressure...

Getting my place at Uni was fab but it's conditional on passing this course, two down for this module, two to go, maths on Thursday should be ok but passing Biology this time will require nothing short of a miracle. Say one for me people....pleeeeze!

Student Nurse proper.

Oh my goodness!

Oh my goodness again!

I have offers from both of the universities I had interviews at. I can't beleive it really and I'm crying very very happy tears. Me doing a degree in nursing!! How Blessed am I eh! It's difficult to put across exactly how I'm feeling right now. Wildly happy about where my life is going and deeply sad that Chris isn't here to share it with me just about sums it up.

This has been one very emotional week.

Excited and a tad nervous.

This is a new emotion for me, I haven't felt this twittering in my tummy for many a moon. I have an interview at a university tomorrow and another one on Thursday. Considering I was leaving college last week, I now have to get my 'I really really want to be a nurse' head back on.

I had a freak out the last few last weeks and was torn between forging ahead and thinking only of myself, or packing college in and (imagining) my being at home was better for everybody. I'm human and I get things a bit puddled in my head sometimes, but I'm sorted now, just a tad nervous about the interview thing. I hate the grey questions like 'why do you want to be a nurse' and why did you choose this university, though my mate did set me in good stead for saying why I want Wrexham tomorrow.

1. Because I've always wanted to speak Welsh.
2. Because I love lamb.
3. Because I don't have to pay.

Thank you to everybody who put up with my whining recently and to all who have given me good old sound advice or just kept me busy with general chit chat. You're stars all of you.

Much love
Nervous Chester.

Edit
The interview went ok I think, I talked a lot and I smiled a lot, in fact I grinned from the minute I went in until I exited, now I'm wondering if they think I took any of it seriously. I had the good fortune to have worked with one of the interviewers and don't think I ever upset him all them years ago (except the times when I worked in the kitchen and ate his dinner then said there hadn't been enough for him). He couldn't interview me of course, that wouldn't be right, but I'm hoping he might tell one or two of the panel that I'm an ok lady.

How's this for an essay title:

'The factors affecting the domestic division of labour and power relations between couples'

I am the least feminist person you will ever meet, but I feel that to pass this one, I may have to burn my bra.

Prayers needed.

Ethan is 13 months old and has lived in hospital all his life. As in literally, bar one day, hospital has been the only place he has known.

Ethan was born with his intestines outside the body and following an attempt to reinsert them, Ethan needed to start TPN, an intravenous form of feeding. Ethan now urgently needs a small bowel and liver transplant.

Please say a prayer for this little man to get his call soon.
Thank you.

To be or not to be.......

What is it about February?

It seems to me that whenever I have a big re-evaluation of things, it just happens to always be February. It’s come a bit early this year, or maybe it hasn’t, because my mind isn’t fully made up yet, but it will be sometime in February.

Confused?

Yep, so am I.

Hahahaha!

They've got to be having a laugh!

Sociology assignment - A poster.

Health Studies assignment - A scrap book.

I had to write, and act, in a play on Monday.

I'm an academic now, I don't want to present flippin Blue Peter.

Me & Mike's mates, I love this pic.

Oh deary me.

I blame the sun for writing my car off today, it shouldn't be so blindingly shiny. I also blame pick-up trucks that park in line with the sun, it makes them invisible.

I was so lucky, if I'd been in our Mike's sporty job, I probably wouldn't be here blogging, because the bar that's supposed to stop you going under the truck fell off and the back of the thing was about 5 inches from my screen. Thank goodness my lovely Fiesta (well half of one now) has a fat bonnet.

I now need a large vodka, a chippy meal and......a new car.

P.S. If you want to impress your dinner guests, serve them roasted garlic and butternut squash soup, it's delicious. Thanks Em :D

Soopy

First of all, apologies for the Christmas cards that never got there, it's because I didn't send them. I thought about every single person I wanted to send a card to and wished them a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, but I did it in my head and decided they would much rather I donated to a good cause. So for everyone out there who knows they would have got a card, you helped a really good cause.

Now then, I need a tasty soup recipe by Tuesday night, no blue cheese though. I have some I've made before and loads of recipe's but I really would love one from someone who's passionate about a soup they've tried and tested. Thank you.

Happy New Year everyone.

P.S. If you pray, can I ask you to please say one for Jake, he's having a very rough time at the moment. You might not know him, but God will know who you're praying for. Thanks.