Edit of last post.

That'll teach me not to tell the world my news until it IS actually news.

Got up this morning and logged on to fill in last couple of details on the application form and they'd emailed me sometime in the night to say they were about to close the vacancy so submit your application NOW. I was asleep for goodness sake. Its closed now so I missed it, do the NHS usually email you during the night to say we see you have started to fill in an application....blah blah blah, bit Big Brotherish if you ask me.

Well they missed their chance.

Scary!!!

I've got a massive grin on my face but I'm a tad nervous as well. I have just applied for a proper job, the first proper job since..........agrhhhh!!!! since I was 25. I've worked on and off all my life but I've been hired without a proper interview and have always worked on the understanding that if Chris got ill I would disappear and reappear when he was better. I don't regret this one bit, it worked well, but now its time for me to get back in there and do a real job.

When I looked at the person specific (list of do you haves) I had them all even though I've been effectively out of the proper job thing for many years, stuff like basic computer course, food health & hygene, caring for people with challenging behaviour, use of fire extinguishers, COSHH and life experience, as I read down the list I got well excited, I had most things on there......arghhhh! I could do this and hell even if I dont get it at least I get a go at the interview thing.

Can you tell I'm a bit nervous, deeeeeeep breath.

As per my instructions to myself I've been in the toolbox and have been very busy lately, so busy I haven't had time to update the old blog.

We did a return visit to the beach last Saturday and our Julie (my sis) got stuck in sinking sand, she laughed loads as she disappeared before our eyes, we ignored her for a while but turned back when she went horizontal. I so should have got a pic at this point and I momentarily thought....should I help with the rescue or take a pic, it was a hard decision as I like to capture the moment but I quite like my sis and she was fast disappearing so I shoved me camera in me pocket lent a hand and took a pic of the 'after effect'

I can now balance on the ball at the gym and do the 'Basil' walk fantabulously and the treadmill is easy peasy now because I've been on it every single day. I even have one of them Ipod holder things that go on your upper arm, its not that I'm trying to keep up with the latest fad or anything its because I used to tuck it down the back of my leggings but during the treadmill bit mine always ends up working its way to my ankles. Have you ever tried retreiving an Ipod while running on an elastic band its not a pretty sight.

Eastern dance class is back up and running and although I'm still rubbish at it I at least look the part now with my beeeeeutiful blue satin skirt, here's a pic of me and Wend looking like we take it seriously....yeah right!

Yesterday we went to a different beach but the tide was coming in dangerously quick so we opted for a country walk, the map said there was a public waterfall and dungeon on the route and as we're all a bit gory and curious we rubbed our hands with glee. Twenty miles later we were still searching for the damn dungeon until a kind man pointed out that it was that slight hollow in the rock that we'd passed many times saying....hahahaha! that can't be it.

Today I didnt miss church, I sang really really loud in monotone but nobody seems to mind cos they're a lovely bunch and this tool is definitley staying in my box.

Work in progress.

An absolutley hugely massive thank you to you all for your comments, I find it hard to accept that I'm not superwoman so that last post was me saying to myself its ok not to be sometimes. We live and learn don't we, as old and wise as we like to think we are we still have some way to go, 'A work in progress' is the best way to describe it I think.

Anyway, I've been in the toolbox and used some this week and I've also got a couple of new one's lined up so the wave is receding and the next blog should be a bit of an easier read.

In the meantime can I ask you to keep Tricia, Nate and Gwyneth in your thoughts and if you do pray please say one for them as they are on an incredibly hard journey just now. This is a link to Nate's blog.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Much love to all.

Waves

Having given myself a huge pat on the back for getting through Christmas and New Year without our Chris I was mightily surprised to find the only too familiar lump in my throat and tightness in my chest only five minutes after waking this morning. Why when possibly the hardest time of the year was behind me did I find myself back at square one, well not quite but still horrid. I sat down and thought about it and it became obvious, I hadn't used anything from of my 'toolbox' recently. I missed church last Sunday, belly dancing hasn't been done for 4 weeks, the gym is a distant memory, gardening in minus whatever degree is less than enticing, my car hasn't tootled along unfamiliar routes and.............these waves just happen sometimes no matter what you do or dont do.

My head hurts.

It was the annual 'Mill do' last night, this is my hubby's work's Christmas party which we haven't been to for a number of years now.. because he doesn't do social. This year I threatened divorce if I didnt get to dress up, eat loads, drink far too much and do the usual cheesy dancing, I threw in and stay overnight breakfast included and by some small miracle he agreed.


The theme was Casino Royale and we were all given £2000 worth of chips, the person who won the most at the end of the night got a prize, but it wasn't me because I got bored. I played a bit of the roulette one then a few hands of blackjack, that was too quick for my mate so we wandered back to the roulette and this is where I got bored, I threw my chips anywhere so I could lose and go dance. Do you know what happens when you try to lose, yep you win and carry on winning so I put the whole £5000 on odds and kept my fingers crossed....yay!!!!!!! I lost, time to boogie.


The meal was one of those spot the very artistically designed courgette hiding behind the tiniest sprig of parsley affairs and it took al dente to new heights but I ate it without complaint because after all it was free. Then we had a balloon blowing up game, thanks to 'E' who decided the mood needed to be jollied along, how hard is it to blow those long skinny one's up arghhh, I did it in the end but I think I pulled a muscle in me chin. Anyway we all let them go and they made farting noises round the room, the mood was suddenly lighter thanks to 'E', thats what I'm going to call him from now on because I think if you're called Ian it works.


The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, me and Wend did a bit of belly dancing I think, we somehow managed to lock ourselves out of our room and there was an extra woman in our bed when we woke up the next morning, don't ask it was all very innocent. I woke at ten past nine and breakfast was due to finish at ten so I stumbled down to the dining roon barely able to focus and started with a gallon of grapefruit juice followed by a massive full English and finished with freshly ground coffee and a Danish pastry. That well made up for the dinner the previous evening.................perfect.


We've been asked to do it all again next Friday, I wonder if I can get away with the threat of divorce twice, I want that breakfast again so I'll give it a go.

Me and our Mike.

Me and John looking far more sober than we were.

Brilliant night!