Going up.

I'm getting to be a right little blogger lately cos here I am again :D

I made a decision this morning to see the counsellor in college about my problem. I decided to seek him out and chuck the ball in his court, but it didn't quite work out that way. I actually bumped into him as soon as I walked in this morning and he said 'is everything going ok' or words to that effect. I blurbed it straight out 'I need your help' and he looked slightly startled for a minute, probably wondering what the heck I was going to ask him to solve. I explained, no I didn't, I whinged in a babbling manner about not being able to get in a lift.

To cut a very long story short he gave me two options, the short way or the long way. My course doesn't have all that long to run now so I chose the short option and I've been in one twice today. It was terrifying and I cried like a baby, but I did it. I just have to keep practising now and I will. Bless him, he even had the maintenance guy meet me and explain that he had a special key that would open the doors of he lift at any point. I also had a gang of trusty mates willing me on and my lovely friend in the lift with us.

I've accomplished a massive thing today and I would never have guessed that signing up to do a course would be the start of getting rid of a phobia, but hey!!! God works in mysterious ways.

1+1=3 or is it?

Back to it tomorrow and I have a couple of things I need to address

• Numbers.


• Lifts.

1. I have to be capable of not over or under dosing the patients....right.

The week before we broke up I failed the level 2 numeracy miserably. Numbers are a mystery to me, I can add, subtract, multiply, divide and other such simple things in my head, I know my tables backwards and can do the hey diddle diddle one's, but the minute it has more than one calculation and asks for the answer in a percentage, I flap, and my eyes only see the arrow that says 'next question'. Anyway today at church I got talking to a lovely girl who is also doing an access course, not to nursing though, hers is to science. She asked how I was getting on and I said fine except for the maths, 'Oh I'm really good at maths' she said. I was impressed, I get impressed when someone is really good at something I find difficult. Like when they come to fit a carpet, they fling it down any old way, push and prod and it fits perfectly, that impresses me a lot. I wandered then! Anyway she's going to sort me out next week after the service and I've decided it will click this time.

2. I can't stick the patient in a lift and say 'I'll meet you upstairs'...can I.

While I've been off this week I've been up and down to the hospital because my Auntie is in. I've been taking my mum up and she requires a wheelchair and an able body to wheel her. So far so good. Now we come to the lift, the door opens and I push my mum in, I manage to get my toes in and then I ask the nice people in the lift to push my mum out on the 2nd floor and I run in the opposite direction. I don't have a strategy in place as yet to get over this claustrophobia thing, but it's not going to beat me. I'm sure they have classes for such phobias, I mean people get over the fear of spiders, snakes and heights, I've seen them on telly.

If anyone out there has conquered a fear thing then I'd be interested to know how you did it.

Thank you very much.

Silly spend

You know when you think you 'must have' a certain thing, even though there's a naggy little voice repeating down your ear 'NO', we've all done it, surely?

Well I decided I must have this conservatory furniture, it was a snip, couch and two chairs with matching table and four chairs - £150, what a bargain. Off I went to the local DIY shop, (where I used to work) to plead for the van. Having secured it for a couple of hours I smiled a lot because I now enjoy driving different vehicles.

As soon as I saw the furniture that voice in my ear went very loud and shouted 'NO ITS TOO BIG'. I muttered back at it 'I can turn it sideways, shut up'. We had to dismantle the conservatory door at my Aunties house to get it out and the voice of reason smirked 'told ya'. I ignored it yet again because I had to have the damn thing.

Only the couch and two chairs would fit in the van so I had to leave the table and chairs there, to be picked up when I could scrounge the van again.

I don't think you have to be particularly intelligent to work out the end of this little tale, do you. I've had a nightmare of a time with it and it's now going to live in the cabin because it wont fit where I wanted it to, but will I listen to that naggy voice next time? Nope of course I wont.

Why do they make door holes so small and furniture so big?

Mike and Sophie have been ice skating tonight and I have a yen to do it, so I've added it to my 1-10 list. Incidentally my first proper date with John was at the Silver Blades ice rink in Liverpool, what a scream that was, I'm sure I have a wee pic taken in one of them booths, ahhhh! to be 16 again :D

Back to college Monday so I'm chillin big time tomorrow, it's been really good to have a week at home and spend time with people who mean a lot to me, but I'm hungry for more knowledge now.

Elated (big huge grin)

I passed the biology exam today and as long as I pass the 5 assignments, I'm there with that one. I did ok in sociology and got a good mark, pschycology I felt went ok, (won't know for definite till after half term), but................. I think I've passed the third module. Woooohoooo!!

Only two more modules to go now, I think I can do this. It's been very tough but the feeling I have tonight is indescribable.

Special thanks to every single one of you who have encouraged me and a big thank you to Vicky who sorted my head out for biology last night.

Blessed to bits I am.

Under pressure...

Getting my place at Uni was fab but it's conditional on passing this course, two down for this module, two to go, maths on Thursday should be ok but passing Biology this time will require nothing short of a miracle. Say one for me people....pleeeeze!

Student Nurse proper.

Oh my goodness!

Oh my goodness again!

I have offers from both of the universities I had interviews at. I can't beleive it really and I'm crying very very happy tears. Me doing a degree in nursing!! How Blessed am I eh! It's difficult to put across exactly how I'm feeling right now. Wildly happy about where my life is going and deeply sad that Chris isn't here to share it with me just about sums it up.

This has been one very emotional week.

Excited and a tad nervous.

This is a new emotion for me, I haven't felt this twittering in my tummy for many a moon. I have an interview at a university tomorrow and another one on Thursday. Considering I was leaving college last week, I now have to get my 'I really really want to be a nurse' head back on.

I had a freak out the last few last weeks and was torn between forging ahead and thinking only of myself, or packing college in and (imagining) my being at home was better for everybody. I'm human and I get things a bit puddled in my head sometimes, but I'm sorted now, just a tad nervous about the interview thing. I hate the grey questions like 'why do you want to be a nurse' and why did you choose this university, though my mate did set me in good stead for saying why I want Wrexham tomorrow.

1. Because I've always wanted to speak Welsh.
2. Because I love lamb.
3. Because I don't have to pay.

Thank you to everybody who put up with my whining recently and to all who have given me good old sound advice or just kept me busy with general chit chat. You're stars all of you.

Much love
Nervous Chester.

Edit
The interview went ok I think, I talked a lot and I smiled a lot, in fact I grinned from the minute I went in until I exited, now I'm wondering if they think I took any of it seriously. I had the good fortune to have worked with one of the interviewers and don't think I ever upset him all them years ago (except the times when I worked in the kitchen and ate his dinner then said there hadn't been enough for him). He couldn't interview me of course, that wouldn't be right, but I'm hoping he might tell one or two of the panel that I'm an ok lady.

How's this for an essay title:

'The factors affecting the domestic division of labour and power relations between couples'

I am the least feminist person you will ever meet, but I feel that to pass this one, I may have to burn my bra.

Prayers needed.

Ethan is 13 months old and has lived in hospital all his life. As in literally, bar one day, hospital has been the only place he has known.

Ethan was born with his intestines outside the body and following an attempt to reinsert them, Ethan needed to start TPN, an intravenous form of feeding. Ethan now urgently needs a small bowel and liver transplant.

Please say a prayer for this little man to get his call soon.
Thank you.

To be or not to be.......

What is it about February?

It seems to me that whenever I have a big re-evaluation of things, it just happens to always be February. It’s come a bit early this year, or maybe it hasn’t, because my mind isn’t fully made up yet, but it will be sometime in February.

Confused?

Yep, so am I.

Hahahaha!

They've got to be having a laugh!

Sociology assignment - A poster.

Health Studies assignment - A scrap book.

I had to write, and act, in a play on Monday.

I'm an academic now, I don't want to present flippin Blue Peter.

Me & Mike's mates, I love this pic.

Oh deary me.

I blame the sun for writing my car off today, it shouldn't be so blindingly shiny. I also blame pick-up trucks that park in line with the sun, it makes them invisible.

I was so lucky, if I'd been in our Mike's sporty job, I probably wouldn't be here blogging, because the bar that's supposed to stop you going under the truck fell off and the back of the thing was about 5 inches from my screen. Thank goodness my lovely Fiesta (well half of one now) has a fat bonnet.

I now need a large vodka, a chippy meal and......a new car.

P.S. If you want to impress your dinner guests, serve them roasted garlic and butternut squash soup, it's delicious. Thanks Em :D

Soopy

First of all, apologies for the Christmas cards that never got there, it's because I didn't send them. I thought about every single person I wanted to send a card to and wished them a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, but I did it in my head and decided they would much rather I donated to a good cause. So for everyone out there who knows they would have got a card, you helped a really good cause.

Now then, I need a tasty soup recipe by Tuesday night, no blue cheese though. I have some I've made before and loads of recipe's but I really would love one from someone who's passionate about a soup they've tried and tested. Thank you.

Happy New Year everyone.

P.S. If you pray, can I ask you to please say one for Jake, he's having a very rough time at the moment. You might not know him, but God will know who you're praying for. Thanks.

Catch up

I'm on holiday now, a very much needed one I must say. This last module has wrung every ounce of energy out of me and very near finished me off. I've passed everything, despite the biology tutor dishing out the biggest, hardest, most student unfriendly amount of work in history. I managed to get 70% in psychology and sociology and 83% in the biology exam, also passed level 1 maths, but numbers continue to throw me into a state of despair, I think I have number dyslexia actually, if such a thing exists.

So, it's Christmas, and I put my trees up yesterday, while trying to focus after a very very late night out. They look beautiful as always, because I'm good at decorating trees and don't allow anyone here to unbalance my colour scheme, however I have to redecorate it daily, because our Rodney, wrecks it overnight. We've got Chris's tree up and will be adding to it each year, this year I'm going to pick up something to do with The Beatles, because he particularly liked John Lennon. I'm off to Liverpool Christmas shopping today, so I'm bound to find something suitable.

What else have I got to blog about... nothing, really, because I haven't had time to do anything apart from study. Maybe that was a good move eh!! A couple of pics to prove I still exist.

Night out at Chester racecourse.

College night out in Liverpool

Hope everyone's enjoying the festive, apologies for the lateness in sending Christmas cards, they will be posted on Monday, just to keep the posties on thier toes! ;-) Oh and A Very Happy Christmas to all. I so miss everyone from the cf community, I really do.

Much love.

Blimey!

I don't know whether I'm coming or going at the moment. Aren't exams fun eh....

What the......

I thought I'd do a quick blog tonight, because I'm a wee bit amused or should I say, bemused. If you've been reading my blog for some time, you'll remember the day my hubby went shopping for a pump for the pond and ended up purchasing a house for the garden. Bless him, he never spends anything for ages, but when he does, it's usually very random, gadgety and costs us a fair whack.

Last week he asked me if I was staying home on my day off, because he wanted to arrange a delivery. I did indeed intend to stay home that day, because we didn't have a clean dish in the house and I could no longer navigate my way to the bedroom without a risk assessment. I have to say I was a bit reluctant to ask what exactly was being delivered, due to doing a quick mental check, and realising he was about due for a 'silly spend'. I braved it though and was, as always, a bit lost for words when he replied 'I've bought US a generator'. 'Oh' I said, 'that's nice' and then I couldn't think of anything else to say.

It came on Wednesday and it's been sat in the middle of the kitchen floor, in it's box, until this morning when he asked our Mike to give him a hand to get it out of it's box. I felt I had to make some positive noises about it, so I said 'It's a well pretty colour love' and it is, it's bright yellow with black knobs and things. He says it's just in case we have a power cut and I can't do my college work or my blog. Loosely translated I think this means the big yellow wolf is my Christmas pressy. I'll bet nobody out there has ever had such a....a....erm, useful and positively shiny bit of machinery from Santa. I'm very lucky to have a hubby who goes that extra mile and I'm soooooo glad he never asked me what I wanted, because silly me would have said, Jolie Madame (my fav perfume), a deep tissue full body regenerating massage, maybe just a working set of taps in the bathroom or two pieces of bedroom furniture that match. But he read my subconscious desires and instead he got me a generator, Bless him to bits.

It's still sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, only now it's next to it's box, which has to stay there apparently, because the cats like it. I'm going to post a pic when I find my camera, just so you can admire it.

'BUZZ'

Oh yeah before I go, is there anyone out there who knows which blood vessel has the highest temperature? I'm stuck on that one.

Thank you, love to all, hope you all get what you 'subconsciously' want from santa ;-)

Progress

The latest news from Pauline's mum was on Thursday and said 'Pauline moving on ok. Feeding the big problem now. Hopeful upward trend will continue'

Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.

Some brilliant news this week, is that William got his transplant. Click on Sarah in the blog list to read the latest on how he's doing.

Praise God for answering our prayers.

Learning parrot fashion.

Our English class was so random this week, anything can happen at our college you know.

I've also just noticed that I've been blogging for two years, worra lorra yappin.

High School

Well the next module is underway now and it will probably be a while until I can be frivolous with my time at the keyboard again. I'm still loving being at college, loving learning, loving meeting new people and most of all loving the 8 item breakfast. Our biology tutor is a darlin, he doesn't do politically correct and he scares the life out of us, but we love him to bits and we know for sure he'll get us all through this subject, bless him.

We're still having to walk through a muddy field to a house on wheels for some lessons, they did try fencing it off so we had to walk half a mile round, but we leaned on the post till it fell over and squashed through the weeny gap. No! I haven't really changed that much since leaving school. In fact in English my mate signed me in as Mickey Mouse, so I drew on her and she drew on me and so on....I thoroughly recommend this sort of therapy, give it a go sometime.

I passed the City and Guilds literacy exam on Thursday and I'll tell you what, it was one of the best feelings of personal achievement I have ever had, my very first official qualification in the whole of my life. However it definitely won't be the last, Ooooooh noooo.

Now then I need some help with this next bit and would be glad if anyone could give me some ideas. I've been talked into going on a night out on the last day of college before Christmas, but there's a catch. Everyone has to dress as a Disney character and we all have to be different, who can I be? I also have to trek round Liverpool until 3am because that's when the coach is booked to pick us up. I haven't seen 3am for a very very long time so I will most likely curl up somewhere quiet at The Pier Head and still be there the next morning, whereupon I will go looking for a greasy cafe dressed as Cruella and be arrested. All good entertainment though.

I'm off for my tea now, then I'm playing scrabble, then, and only then I'll do a wee bit of research on 'participant observation', if anyone gets the urge to put in their twopeneth on the strengths and weaknesses of this, please feel free.

Love to all.

I don't like Mondays

Back to college proper today, I think I'll tootle in for a full cooked this morning.

Tra-la-la.

:D

Update

I've just spoken to Pauline's mum and the latest news is:

'Pauline has improved immensely, we're looking for better things to come'

For all those out there who are praying and thinking positive thoughts for her, please keep it up.

I'll update again when I hear.

Love to all.