A good day

'Pauline has had a good day today and has been able to talk, eat yoghurt and drink tea, at last'

That's tonights text.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers that this is ongoing.

Pauline

For anyone waiting for an update on Pauline, Jessie (her mum) asked that I post it on my blog for now, the family are, as you can imagine, spending all their time with her, so it's easier if I post it here.

The latest information I have tonight is that she is still having a rough ride, she slept well last night and was a bit more upbeat today, but is still very poorly.

I'll update when I know anything more.

Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.

Flippin heck.

I’m speechless here!

I passed health studies, not brilliantly, but I passed (it seems I didn’t waffle enough in the ‘Critical evaluation of the relationship between politics and health’). I got 98% in the first biology course paper and 81% in the exam, just waiting for the other course paper to be marked.

AND...you’ll never guess what.

I flipping well passed sociology, I got 70% so I did. Only waiting to hear how my psychology essay went down and the other biology paper, then its all go with the next module.

I so can’t believe it, I could actually do this.

I am well Blessed.

Sheeeeeesh!! kebabs an all that.

Oh my goodness, what a week.

Tonight I rest, and enjoy.

Tomorrow I'll do some more.

By Monday everything will be handed in and I will have survived the madness of the worst access course ever, according to the tutors.

I'm well happy.

Love to all.

Edit...Erm, I mean I will have survived the first module, I'd be pretty darned clever if I'd done the whole access course n 5 weeks now wouldn't I. Talking to myself now, so I'm going.

Pauline.

Thank you for the messages for Pauline, I know they are very much appreciated by her family. Her sister will be keeping everyone up to speed on the cf forum from now on, so that's where I'm going to post my good wishes, positive vibes and most of all my prayers. If you get a minute, go do it too.

Love to all.

Update.

Just a quick update on Pauline, there's been some improvement today, but prayers and positive thoughts are still very much needed for the improvement to continue. If you read my blog please say a prayer or leave a message for Pauline and her family, it means a lot.

Thank you.
Love to all.
Sue x

Quicky

First of all the news from Pauline's mum this afternoon was a bit better, they are reducing the amount of support she needs which is a positive, however she still needs lots of prayers and positive thoughts, as she is still very poorly.

I did my horrid psychology essay and was told yesterday, no! told is the wrong word here. I'll start again, bare with me. My psychology tutor 'stated' that she would not look at our essays in order to give us a clue whether we were barking up the right tree, but our sociology tutor said she would be only too glad to look it over and point us in the right direction, how very lovely is she eh! Anyway, I wasn't barking up the right tree, in fact I wasn't even in the forest and if this was two weeks ago, I would probably have cried all the way home. But its not and I felt quite 'hop and skip' about it, because its learning and thats why I'm there.

I've done it the right way now anyway.............ner!!

Well at least I think I have.

Love to all.

Prayers and positive thoughts needed.

Pauline, a very good friend of mine needs lots of prayers and positive thoughts right now, please take a moment so say one for her. Pray that the doctors can identify the problem and find the right drug to treat it, also for strength for her family who so need it.

Thank you so much.

Edit..2nd Oct.

Please keep praying for Pauline, she is still very poorly and up until this morning was on ICU, ventilated and sedated.

Learning.

Well here we are nearly a week on from the mare of a day that was last Monday and I do feel a good deal less like hurling myself ‘lemming’ like off a cliff edge. I’m sort of getting a handle on the sociology and psychology now, I can throw a big word in here and there and have inkling what it means. Health studies is going ok and I’m loving our Biology tutor, he’s of the old school and doesn’t listen when you ask a question, he waves his arms about and repeats ‘just listen now, you have to take this in, d’you hear, its important that you understand what I’m saying, you have to know this, right’ (in a very Welsh accent). I know how an electron microscope works now so I must be paying attention. Seriously, I do love him, we all do.

English and maths…….now then, my free writing exercise got me a ‘well done Susan’ and she said I should think about going into the GCSE class, I thought about it for 2 seconds and decided why give myself the extra work load, I only need level 2 in literacy so that’s all I’m doing. Maths is a different story, I’m in the bottom class for sums but it’s a revelation to me and I love it because I was so scared of this subject at school and now its fun. I was like an over excited child after the last lesson and can’t wait to get back in there next week. We only have to do a module in word processing for IT so I should polish that one off easy enough and the other two modules are pretty much talk about yourself in 1500 words and persuade the universities they can’t possibly do without you cos you’re special.

Loads of assessments coming up in 3 weeks and only one re-sit allowed, I’m praying I get through because I’m so enjoying this learning thing (in between nervous breakdowns). Say one for me pleeeeeeze.

Love to all.

Arghhh!!

Arghhhh!!!

Its been a hard hard day today, but I'm not going to cry.

Weaving - the future.

Two weeks into this college lark and I’m knackered, my eyes are gritty and my posture resembles a chair, a very baggy, comfy well-worn one. The kind you snuggle yourself into with a cup of hot choccy in front of a log fire on a cold and frosty night….ahem! I’ve gone off the subject a bit there haven’t I, that’s because I was dreaming of said chair, choccy and relaxation.

There are a heck of a lot less people on the course now than first started and I can understand why, its intensive, jolly hard work and the college are as far away from organised as it gets. They have demolished half of it and are apparently building the biggest one in Europe (yeah right) which will be ready for 2010. We have most of our lessons in Glastonbury that is the name we’ve given to the portable boxes in the middle of a very mucky field without a path. There are no loo’s so we have to hike half a mile if we’re caught short, which we now aren’t, ever, because we’ve remembered that old one your mother used to trot out before you went anywhere. The timetables are enough to drive one over the brink as they are changed on pretty much a daily basis and we can be mid lesson in a proper classroom only to be told its been booked for the one’s learning weaving. So off we go down to the café to wait for our tutor to beg borrow or just plain hijack a room, she gives the nod and we all pile in quick before the weavers do.

Most of the lovely people in the group I hang out with have had their crisis day or night when they wanted to run away and pretend they never wanted to be in the health profession in the first place. I was proudly, nay, egotistically is a better word, anyway I was feeling la-de-da about it all when suddenly out of the blue last night I had my crisis, its all too much I said to myself. I was calm but I was definitely in crisis and it was all over a teeny weeny bit of homework that I’d grappled with for a few days.

‘Is Psychology a Science’? (just a couple of sentences she said)

That’s it, that’s all it was but could I get my head round it, could I heck. Forget the fact that there was loads and loads of other work to do, I didn’t care about that but this little blighter got right up my nose and I wanted to run away. I got up this morning and decided today I was going to crack it, so I mowed the lawns, then I went in the garage to make a start on my den, then I had my tea, then I phoned my mate for a big catch up……..see what I’m doing here? anything I could possibly find to do instead of the psycho thing.

I’ve finally done it now but feel free to debate in the form of comments, I can always copy and paste if I think your is better than mine ;-)

Pics are:

My faithful guard cat Rodney, she knows I hate being down at the bottom of the garden when it’s dark.

The before pic of my den, which will have a big cosy armchair in it.

Love to all.

Banishing demons.

Ok I feel like this particular issue is a quiet time one but I got brave and decided to post it here as well.

I have a learning problem that stems back to childhood, it’s definitley a mental thing rather than anything else though. When I was at school I always managed to get the wrong end of the stick and went off at the wrong angle, I’d write loads and it usually had nothing at all to do with the answer they were looking for. Time after time I’d be told to read the question properly before I waded in with the size 7’s, but I never ever learned to do that so ended up feeling as though I was unteachable ( I know that isn’t a word).

This hasn’t been a problem for many years because I was totally confident in everything regarding running a home, working here and there and bringing up two kids. However I’m now back at school and the old demons are reminding me that it wasn’t easy first time round and I do panic now and again that it will be a repeat performance of an earlier life.

First lesson in Psychology was about childhood memories that we didn’t like being shoved into the unconscious and only emerging into the sub conscious when something triggers it and they leak out, well its leaked now and I’m determined that its going to be dealt with and put to bed. I know I’m capable of learning if I don’t panic about it and put the wall up, so I’m working hard on facing up to my demons and telling them to go to hell, they don’t have a place in my life now. That was a different life and they are not getting a look in on this one……..So there!!

School report.

Just a quick one to let you know whats whats. I'm still in shock a bit with this school thing, there's so much work to do. I'm loving Psychology, don't mind Sociology and not keen on Health Studies I've got Maths and English today (tests to see what level I'm working at) and Biology and IT (core) tomorrow. I've pretty much stuck to my work plan and the cabin down the garden is fast becoming my new home as I need complete quiet to study. Getting on fab with all the people on my course and even the young one's join me for lunch, how nice is that eh!!

Going dancing tonight, I made sure I built that one into my work plan so I still have a life outside the classroom.

I feel alive.......thats very good.

Love to all.

Walk & Work.

Well I now have the grand total of three medals to prove I appeared in Hyde Park and sauntered around the 5k track, I will, as always say ‘I’m going to run it next year’ this has become a bit of a joke but laugh they may because I’ll show em. It was very cold and wet and dismal but it didn’t put us veterans off because we’re hard and anyway we hate to miss out on the yearly hugs with our good buddies. Saturday was magic because I got to see so much of London in the comfort of a warm car and a knowledgeable guide, except for the quick jaunt in Richmond Park, that was chilly but well worth it. The evening was spent in a wonderful restaurant eating very delicious food and chatting which I think is the most enjoyable pastime ever, brilliant, cant wait to do it all again next year. Except the nine and a half hours travelling that is.

I’ve now ticked everything off the list I stressingly blogged about and will be settling into some serious studying as of now, I have homework, two hours of it every night so I have to be good and go do it. Yesterday we had Psychology and Health Studies, I loved the first one and didn’t think much of the second one. I'm still a bit in shock with this school thing so bare with me if I don't appear very often.

Love to all.

All work no play....

Hands up all those who knew I’d be in shock today, well you were right.

I’ve been to school and I’m in no doubt whatsoever that I have my work cut out for me from now until the next Olympics. We had to do the ritual talk to a stranger then introduce them to the class and give them a nickname, my new friend gave me sexy Sue because I do belly dancing. This was a beyond ludicrous because I was the second oldest in the class, the oldest being about 70, but they at least all remember my name (cringe).

This year the universities have changed the rules for the course I’m doing and its now much harder, more intense and there’s less room for earning the 60 credits required to get a place, good I said cos I wanted a challenge…yeah right. I’m told I have to eat drink and sleep this course for the next year or I will not pass, so I have to cut back on playtime on here and get my head down. I’m in the classroom 4 days a week and will be looking for voluntary work for the other day and I agreed to do a short counselling course so I can mentor younger students for half an hour a week. I also need somewhere quiet to study so I’m laying my claim to the cabin at the bottom of the garden, just need to get connected to the internet down there. I laugh loudly as I say that because the horrid thing never works right here so its got no chance after travelling down the garden now has it.

Lots of stuff in my head and I have homework but here I am blogging, its going to be a hard one to break my addiction to trivia and apply myself to serious tapping of the keys but I think I’m ready for it. If I’m on here or facebook too much please feel free to tell me to go do some work, you’ll be helping me.

Love to all.

Deep Breathe

After years of saying to the staff on the cf unit he'd draw a picture for the wall, finally Chris's promise is being kept. I'm taking his sketch today and I have to say I'm a tad nervous and an even bigger tad emotionalish, but I'm so chuffed to be able to do it for him.

Thanks again to my friend Sandy for her encouragement. I'll update later tonight.

It was great to see everyone today and surprisingly I didnt feel like bursting into tears I just felt very comfortable and happy to be there. Dom, the chef who always used to feed me made us a lovely buffet (food again) and I never stopped talking the whole time. When someone mentioned if they could ever do anything to help I leapt in with 'well I have to arrange my own placements for my nurse training' never miss an opportunity I say.

These lovely people were as much a part of my life as they were Chris's and they made me feel very special today, Chris would have loved that.

What a cracking time we’ve had and how very friendly are the Scots eh!!

Although we only knew a few people among the hundred or more at Friday night's birthday bash we felt like we were among friends we’d known all our life, it was brilliant.

I’m giving a run down of the pics instead of captions under each one because blogger is moody.

1 – John and the birthday girl.
2 – Me and Pauline.
3 – Jessie on the dance floor…..again.
4 – Pauline & Andy.
5 - Our room was called Glenfiddich and these were the pics on the wall......love it.

The food was so yummy at the party I had to take an extra plate of it back to the hotel, I nibbled before bed, again when I woke at 5am and finished it off in the car on the way home. Did I mention that the breakfast was to die for and that butcher man makes the best pies I’ve ever tasted.

I can honestly say I’ve never ever seen anyone with as much energy as Jessie she wasn’t static for more than five seconds the whole night.

Counting the days till I see you all again, thank you for making us so welcome.

P.S. Pauline I'll put all the pics on facebook.

The Good the Bad and the Ugly.

I haven’t really got anything to blog about but I’ve got an overwhelming urge to do a waffley one, its been a while since I wrote loads about nothing in particular so bear with me, I’ll be normal again soon honest.

I have a very very busy time coming up and I have a tickle in my stomach, it’s the one that happens when you know you’re way behind in practical terms but your mind is miles ahead of you. I haven’t slept at all well with it all going round and round and I reckoned if I blog about it then it will fool my mind into thinking I’m more ahead than I am, this is good.

We’re off to Scotland tomorrow till Saturday and I can’t wait, I’m excited because I’m going to see a lovely friend who’s having a birthday bash, this is well good. I’ve had every top and frock on in every shop for miles around and hated them all, this is bad,

We have the church barbecue on Sunday afternoon after the service, this is relaxing and good.

On Monday I’m taking Chris’s drawing over to the CF unit, this is very good. I said I’d write an article to go in their magazine and I have a head that refuses point blank to put some words together, this is bad.

Up to now Tuesday is being kept free for the hundred things that will come up.

Wednesday and Thursday are induction days at college, this is a mix of good and apprehension.

Friday is run round like a headless chicken checking everything is in place to travel to London in the morning for the Hydro, this is a mix of panic and good, mostly panic.

Train leaves Chester at 7-30am, hard cheese if I didn’t get everything done yesterday.

Saturday doing much good stuff with two lovely friends, this is fun and good.

Sunday morning travel to Hyde Park to meet up with more lovely friends and WALK the 5k, this is excitingly good.

Train leaves Euston at 4pm Sunday and arrives in Chester sometime after 7pm this is a looooong time, why haven’t they invented something to beam me back?

Monday morning I go back to school full time for 4 years, its going to require mega effort to stay awake that day, this is a mix of good bad and downright ugly if I don’t get some decent kip sometime soon.

Do I feel more relaxed now its out of my head………..nope! in fact I feel worse because I could have ironed our togs for tomorrow instead of sitting here whingeing :D

Love to all.

Blog stuff

I have some time on my hands today because the motor has gone for its once a year 'sorry its failed and its going to cost you £300' test and I'm a bit bored as well because facebook has removed my favourite pastime. So I'm playing about with the layout on my blog but I'm a bit stuck.

I want to add a link for people to contact me by email, can anyone out there tell me whether I have to display my email address on the blog or if I can just put a link to it. If that makes sense.

Thank you.

Quarry Bank Mill/Styal.

Hubby's been off a week and two days and we've waited patiently for decent weather, it wasn't going to happen was it, so today we ventured out in the rain cos we're British and 'ard'. Hubby's suggestion of a cotton mill went down as easy as swallowing a piece of thorny hedge, its got a massive water wheel he said, oh I said, its got working machinery he enthused, oh I said, its got a secret garden and a resaurant, he had me with that one.

Because it takes an awfully long time for me to put pics on here and caption them I'm going to tell you about them now and you'll have to remember whats what. The the mill from the outside, me in a cave, view, secret garden, machines and matching hat and bag (for clare).

I have to say I was totally absorbed in this place, I read every bit of info and did all the hands on displays, there were a few of these things dotted about called The Gov'nor so I asked John what they were, he gave me a knowing look because I'm not the easiest person in the world to explain technical stuff to. He said 'those two balls swing round, get wider and push a rod up' Oh I said thats impressive isnt it. I feel my brain is expanding with these trips.

Love to all.