1 - 10 list review

Its been a while since I updated my list of things to do before I die, I've knocked a fair few off so I started a new one this afternoon and it goes like this.

1 - Be a nurse
2 - Drive a canal boat
3 - Eat an oyster (euk!! not looking forward to that one)
4 - Write a poem
5 - Speak in public (I'd rather do the oyster)
6 - Dye my hair red
7 - Swim a mile (thats 60 lengths)
8 - Get above 1400 in my scrabbulous rating
9 -
0 -

I'm calling the last one 0 because 10 made my list look untidy. Having knocked a fair few off lately I can't think of anything for 9 and 0 yet, but I will. Number one will be there for a while, four years in fact, I start the swim one tomorrow and hope to hit the 60 lengths within two weeks (I just love to set targets). Do Asda do oysters? if so I'll pop down there tomorrow and thats 3 gone. I've started my poem, be brutally honest should I consider sending it to be published, John's not sure.

Do you ever wonder why
We were'nt born in the sky
instead of on earth
Or walk on our hands
Face close to the turf
Why cars don't run on tracks
above the rooves
Or why we have feet
instead of hooves
and who decided........

I think its best to leave it open ended, gives it an air of mystery dont ya think.

Is rooves a proper word, I've been sitting here saying it over and over and it sounds very odd.

*wink*

B&B

Blogs....I now read so many that I barely have time to blog.
&
Brrrrrr!.... No walk this weekend..we don't do cold.

Warm hugs to all. Roll on summer.

Catch up

I'm a bit behind in the blogging world as I've been tied up with widgets and things, they're a piece of cake to some people but as soon as they see its me they instantly think to themselves quick mess it up before she thinks she's clever. I won though and I'll tell you about it after I've done a quick one about the walk last Saturday, ok I know its boring but I'm keeping a diary of where we walk and when just so we know see.

Saturday the 15th amble was a long one at another beach, not much to report except that John nearly got marooned due to his wanting to watch the tide fill in a little pool which became a big pool and then an ocean while he stared out to sea oblivious of the fact that he was about to drown......

Me on the rocks nearly at New Brighton ignoring the fact that John is stranded.

Now then back to the widget, thats the thing on the right hand side of the blog which say's Justgiving In memory of Chris Pearson. As the first anniversary of our saying goodbye to Chris approached we heard about The Great Strides walk through my friend Lorraine and decided it would be a good move to join her and her family in something positive at a time that could very easily be negative. It takes place on the 10th of May just one day after the dreaded anniversary and hopefully it will give me John and Mike a focus beyond the day.

Feel free to chuck a copper and a message on the justgiving page to help us raise as much as we can so that parents in the future don't have to say goodbye to their children as we and many others have had to.

Got a lump in my throat now so I'm going.

Boyzone's ' No matter what' done proper.

Well thats number 4 off the list, I finally plucked up the courage to get up and sing at a karaoke night eventhough I'm completley tone deaf. Why the hell I didnt just settle for mumbling quietly into the microphone is beyond me.....Oh Noooooo! if I'm going to knock something off my list I'm going to do it big time.

I burst into song well before the music started, then my arm threw itself into the air and I got louder and louder. The look on our Jul's face is one of pure shock as I continued to imagine I was a superstar....*groan*

The walk this week was hard work after a late night.

View over Parkgate Marshes, there's a hill on that horizon called Moel Famau, we'll climb that sometime soon.

Hope alls good with everyone.

Helsby Hill. Part 2.

First I must warn any readers of this blog that its in danger of becoming an anorak type diary and might bore you sometime soon. I make no apologies for this though, in fact I activley promote the anorakness of getting a good pair of sturdy boots on and walking in the great outdoors.....

John doesn't do dogs that guard farms and I dont do moo cows so our walks are a wee bit fraught sometimes, like the time we took off on a 5 mile one. 10 miles later, having had to detour because of canine's bovine's and the odd nasty goose we were lost and it was lashing down with rain AND we were in a field full of some crop that was taller than us. Not the very best walk we've had so on Saturday I suggested a hill instead, surely we wouldnt meet many cows, I knew there were no farms because it was too steep and when did you last see a goose wandering on a big hill......sorted. The wind however could be a problem but we decided to brave it anyway.

Half way up clinging to a bush on the cliff edge.
John first to the summit.
Me and my sis on the top dangerously close to beeing blown off.
Steve John and Julie (coffee time) Note our Jul found a hanger for bag.
View over the Mersey estuary.

Throwing a bit of history in google says Helsby Hill is an ancient viking hill fort.....I'm well impressed that I can see a viking thing out of my bedroom window.

Helsby Hill

We might climb it today.........

Wales

Aaaaahhhhh!!

I've had the great pleasure of spending a girls day in with nibbles, gorgeous wee butties, heavenly chocs and a massive glass of Shiraz whilst taking in wonderful scenery and laughing heniously at anything and everything. The main ingredient for this fab day was people as is so often the case. We don't need a limo a flash restaurant or loads of dosh to spend on clothes to make us feel uplifted or positive just some damn good company and a field full of sheep to stare at.

What makes it even better is having a good old moan competition, there's no better therapy than seeing if you can out moan your buddies and then end up laughing loads, it dilutes the things that are peeing you off and makes them seem less important. Another essential when girls get together is a man who appears periodically with coffee or wine and does his best to appear interested by muttering suggestions about how to improve one's life and is told to get back in his cubby hole. I loved him to bits, he was soooooo placid and did as he was told with a bit of a wry smile on his face.

I like Wales and I think I'll live there sometime, its definitley going in my toolbox along with the people I spent the day with.





The food.

The sheep.

Brilliant!!!

Dog blog

This beach walk we're doing is becoming a habit but there was something missing, hubby decided we needed a dog, dogs and walks go together nicely. You can reflect better when throwing a stick and seeing the pure joy in the dogs face when they retreive it and trot back. They grin massively when they fool you into thinking they're going to drop it, oh no! its not that easy, you have to beg and get covered in dog spit as you try to wrestle it out of their mouth until they finally give in and allow you to think you won....well you didnt they just humour you.

Anyway we borrowed our neighbours dog yesterday, she's a cracker her name is Bess and she has one blue eye and one brown eye. It was magic, so magic in fact that I had a spiffing idea.

We could charge people a vast sum of money (a bit less than kennels do) to look after their dogs while they're on holiday and then we could have a totally different set up running alongside, sort of 'Rent a dog' for a walk on the beach or through the forest, we'd charge for this service as well, double yer money. Brilliant!

Little yappy things - £5 per hour

Middle size mongrels - £7 per hour

Massive ego boosters - £10 per hour

Bess insisting I take a well earned rest on the rocks, Oh yeah note the 'pink' earmuffs sent to me by a good buddy because beaches make me deaf and I hear waves in my ears for days afterwards....not any more though.

Get some canine therapy, I thoroughly recommend it.

Thanks folks for agreeing that the NHS made a grave error in not hiring me, they did ring me at twenty past twelve last night when they found out who I was but I told them, no second chances......sorry.

I took the bull by the horns today and went to the local college to enquire about being a nurse. The man/boy was excellent, I said I was interested in doing nursing but wondered if I was too old, he smiled and said 'No you are not too old' but you dont know how old I am I said 'I dont need to ask the question' he replied. I liked that answer. As he was about to begin I said to him I'm deaf, but before I could say the other words which were at the moment he started to speak with a rubber mouth so that I could lip read. Blimey I should have interrupted there and then but I didnt and I have no idea why I decided to indulge his obvious talent for conveying words through lip shapes, I just appreciate it when people make that extra bit effort with anything and can't resist so I left it as it was and stared at his lips, paused, then answered with a smile.

Now then because I have no qualifications......yep none, not a oner I'm doing an access course which lasts 1 year and is intensive. I then go on to do a degree which is luckily at my local Uni in Chester. Sounds good doesn't it. I have never visualised myself gaining a degree, why? well for reasons I'm not going to go into here my school days were not the favourite bit of my life and I left just before I was invited to go. I did try the entrance exam for nursing just after leaving school but failed on the maths, they said to come back and try again because I only just failed but I walked into an office job then a dental nurse job then another very good office job. Then I got married and lived in a creepy flat where the landlady floated about in chiffon stole peoples washing off the line and there were also strange circles in the garden so we decided it was time to save for a mortgage and five years later we had our Mike. Chris followed two years later and I embarked on my big stay at home. The rest is history.

I've told John and Mike I'll need an occasional kick up the rear and some encouragement the rest is up to me.

The man/boy never did ask my real age and for once I hope he didnt think I was a lot younger than I am because I'll be well gutted now if I am too old.

Much love to all.

Edit of last post.

That'll teach me not to tell the world my news until it IS actually news.

Got up this morning and logged on to fill in last couple of details on the application form and they'd emailed me sometime in the night to say they were about to close the vacancy so submit your application NOW. I was asleep for goodness sake. Its closed now so I missed it, do the NHS usually email you during the night to say we see you have started to fill in an application....blah blah blah, bit Big Brotherish if you ask me.

Well they missed their chance.

Scary!!!

I've got a massive grin on my face but I'm a tad nervous as well. I have just applied for a proper job, the first proper job since..........agrhhhh!!!! since I was 25. I've worked on and off all my life but I've been hired without a proper interview and have always worked on the understanding that if Chris got ill I would disappear and reappear when he was better. I don't regret this one bit, it worked well, but now its time for me to get back in there and do a real job.

When I looked at the person specific (list of do you haves) I had them all even though I've been effectively out of the proper job thing for many years, stuff like basic computer course, food health & hygene, caring for people with challenging behaviour, use of fire extinguishers, COSHH and life experience, as I read down the list I got well excited, I had most things on there......arghhhh! I could do this and hell even if I dont get it at least I get a go at the interview thing.

Can you tell I'm a bit nervous, deeeeeeep breath.

As per my instructions to myself I've been in the toolbox and have been very busy lately, so busy I haven't had time to update the old blog.

We did a return visit to the beach last Saturday and our Julie (my sis) got stuck in sinking sand, she laughed loads as she disappeared before our eyes, we ignored her for a while but turned back when she went horizontal. I so should have got a pic at this point and I momentarily thought....should I help with the rescue or take a pic, it was a hard decision as I like to capture the moment but I quite like my sis and she was fast disappearing so I shoved me camera in me pocket lent a hand and took a pic of the 'after effect'

I can now balance on the ball at the gym and do the 'Basil' walk fantabulously and the treadmill is easy peasy now because I've been on it every single day. I even have one of them Ipod holder things that go on your upper arm, its not that I'm trying to keep up with the latest fad or anything its because I used to tuck it down the back of my leggings but during the treadmill bit mine always ends up working its way to my ankles. Have you ever tried retreiving an Ipod while running on an elastic band its not a pretty sight.

Eastern dance class is back up and running and although I'm still rubbish at it I at least look the part now with my beeeeeutiful blue satin skirt, here's a pic of me and Wend looking like we take it seriously....yeah right!

Yesterday we went to a different beach but the tide was coming in dangerously quick so we opted for a country walk, the map said there was a public waterfall and dungeon on the route and as we're all a bit gory and curious we rubbed our hands with glee. Twenty miles later we were still searching for the damn dungeon until a kind man pointed out that it was that slight hollow in the rock that we'd passed many times saying....hahahaha! that can't be it.

Today I didnt miss church, I sang really really loud in monotone but nobody seems to mind cos they're a lovely bunch and this tool is definitley staying in my box.

Work in progress.

An absolutley hugely massive thank you to you all for your comments, I find it hard to accept that I'm not superwoman so that last post was me saying to myself its ok not to be sometimes. We live and learn don't we, as old and wise as we like to think we are we still have some way to go, 'A work in progress' is the best way to describe it I think.

Anyway, I've been in the toolbox and used some this week and I've also got a couple of new one's lined up so the wave is receding and the next blog should be a bit of an easier read.

In the meantime can I ask you to keep Tricia, Nate and Gwyneth in your thoughts and if you do pray please say one for them as they are on an incredibly hard journey just now. This is a link to Nate's blog.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Much love to all.

Waves

Having given myself a huge pat on the back for getting through Christmas and New Year without our Chris I was mightily surprised to find the only too familiar lump in my throat and tightness in my chest only five minutes after waking this morning. Why when possibly the hardest time of the year was behind me did I find myself back at square one, well not quite but still horrid. I sat down and thought about it and it became obvious, I hadn't used anything from of my 'toolbox' recently. I missed church last Sunday, belly dancing hasn't been done for 4 weeks, the gym is a distant memory, gardening in minus whatever degree is less than enticing, my car hasn't tootled along unfamiliar routes and.............these waves just happen sometimes no matter what you do or dont do.

My head hurts.

It was the annual 'Mill do' last night, this is my hubby's work's Christmas party which we haven't been to for a number of years now.. because he doesn't do social. This year I threatened divorce if I didnt get to dress up, eat loads, drink far too much and do the usual cheesy dancing, I threw in and stay overnight breakfast included and by some small miracle he agreed.


The theme was Casino Royale and we were all given £2000 worth of chips, the person who won the most at the end of the night got a prize, but it wasn't me because I got bored. I played a bit of the roulette one then a few hands of blackjack, that was too quick for my mate so we wandered back to the roulette and this is where I got bored, I threw my chips anywhere so I could lose and go dance. Do you know what happens when you try to lose, yep you win and carry on winning so I put the whole £5000 on odds and kept my fingers crossed....yay!!!!!!! I lost, time to boogie.


The meal was one of those spot the very artistically designed courgette hiding behind the tiniest sprig of parsley affairs and it took al dente to new heights but I ate it without complaint because after all it was free. Then we had a balloon blowing up game, thanks to 'E' who decided the mood needed to be jollied along, how hard is it to blow those long skinny one's up arghhh, I did it in the end but I think I pulled a muscle in me chin. Anyway we all let them go and they made farting noises round the room, the mood was suddenly lighter thanks to 'E', thats what I'm going to call him from now on because I think if you're called Ian it works.


The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, me and Wend did a bit of belly dancing I think, we somehow managed to lock ourselves out of our room and there was an extra woman in our bed when we woke up the next morning, don't ask it was all very innocent. I woke at ten past nine and breakfast was due to finish at ten so I stumbled down to the dining roon barely able to focus and started with a gallon of grapefruit juice followed by a massive full English and finished with freshly ground coffee and a Danish pastry. That well made up for the dinner the previous evening.................perfect.


We've been asked to do it all again next Friday, I wonder if I can get away with the threat of divorce twice, I want that breakfast again so I'll give it a go.

Me and our Mike.

Me and John looking far more sober than we were.

Brilliant night!

Is 2008 an Olympic year?

Is it a leap year or something?, world cup maybe? I'm sure there's something important going on next year I just cant remember what it is!.....anyone know?

Anyway, I know some people are probably wondering how we're doing here so I'll tell you. We survived Christmas better than we had thought we would, the morning was hard but the afternoon was a bonus because we laughed loads, I honestly never thought I would be laughing this Christmas how amazing is that, someone was definitley smiling on us. The atmosphere in our house has been very peaceful and calm despite the hordes of visitors who I'm sure have that secret rota on the go again.

I'd like to take a moment to remember last New Year which was spent at the local with Chris, family and friends, it was a fabulous night and I'm so glad we made the effort to go. I wanted to post a pic but have had many pc problems recently and they've gone adrift for now.

I'll probably manage to see 2008 in, John definitley won't as he's working tomorrow and Mike says he's staying in.....yeah right!

Wishing everyone a very happy and healthy new year from us all.

Scrabble & Cards saves Christmas.

With 11 games of scrabble on the go on facebook I popped on and off all Christmas day and as we were having visitors late afternoon my cunning plan was to spring the board game on them. However it soon became apparent that concentration levels were not going to stretch to a word game due to much happy juice being swigged and they'd never beleive my words were proper one's anyway, only my scrabbulous buddies know such things.

So.....we opted for a game of cards, sounds dead easy doesn't it, well it wasn't. My lovely friend Eve was invited for dinner and was delivered to us along with precise instructions.


1) Give her a pint of water now.

2) Give her a pint of water in half an hour.

3) Give her dinner with a pint of water.

4) If 3 hours have elapsed since her arrival and all water has been drunk, she may have a small alcoholic drink followed by a pint of water.

5) Dont give her any more pink champagne, it goes to her head. (obvious)

6) 'Good luck'

We got through that bit and everything was going hunky dory, our visitors arrived and we all settled down to a game of new market which is a favourite of ours. Its not difficult to understand really providing you didnt spend the morning drinking pink champagne. We then realised we had no copper to play with so out came the cf collection box, we have no scruples in this house, we're scousers (exept my hubby).

The card game goes like this, all cards are dealt out exept one, this sits in the middle of the table and is called the horse, everyone puts 2p on the horse and 2p in the kitty...easy. An extra hand is dealt but left out of the game. The person with the lowest red card starts the game, lets say it was the 2 of diamonds then whoever has the 3 plays it you dont take turns you just bloody go if you have the next number and if it stops on you you then play your lowest black..........red then black then red..........2,3,4 etc. flippin heck it was such hard work.

I brought the drinks and we decided to have a well earned break but as my friend sipped hers her face crinkled and very quietly and calmly she said 'Sue you've given me a dirty glass it tastes greasy' I wouldnt do that but humoured her and went to make a fresh one. When I reached into the cupboard for the lime juice I realised I'd given her veg oil instead, well we were helpless I havent laughed that much for many many months it was brilliant. We ended the night playing snap which was about all we were capable of by then, I walked my friend home, played my moves on scrabulous and slept like a brick.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages through various channels and to the game players who have kept me busy over the last few days.

Much love to all.
x

Coconuts and of course....the tree (insert big wink)

First off coconuts will NOT be awarded in advance no matter how high you stick your hand up, if you're still reading in early Jan you'll get one, if not I'll have them all as I'm partial to a coconut.


The latest additions to the tree are:

A bracelet sent to Chris from my good buddy while he was still in hospital after transplant.

Our Lorraine, Chris's cousin sent a memento of a time in their younger years when they used to 'chill out' and put the world to rights.

Suzy one of Chris's bessy buddies brought a magnetic knife and fork, these were stolen from a restaurant where they were having a meal. It was an obsession, I have no end of salt and peppers, very long spoons, strangely shaped glasses etc.......

A mohican came via email from a mum who has also lost her son, her post on the cf forum some time ago touched me, I'd been about to go into 'nag' mode' and it stopped me in my tracks.

Linda Jane said;

I couldn't find a picture of a blue mohican to send you, but you sent me an email with these words about Chris and instead of 'full nag mode' you emailed me and made me smile. 'The last few days he's had a bit of a rebellion against everything he has no control over, resulting in getting a mohican and dying it blue, booking a tattoo and staying out late with his mates'

Smiles have a way of doing the full circle and this one has.


Hiya Sandy,

I dont seem to be able to delete one of your posts, I'm not on my own pc and its being arsey, Good to hear you found some 'Lennons' as Chris called them, he also has a pair. I'll be looking out for something special for Matt's tree next year. Much love and many (((HUGS))) to you and everyone on the yahoo site. xxx

This pc also took some convincing that it could upload a pic, but it gave in eventually.

The tree.........




Many thanks to everyone for their comments on my blog and prayers for a peaceful Christmas for us, we're doing good here at the moment and the decision to not do Xmas in any commercial way has proved to be a well positive move.

Have a good un everyone.
Much love
x

Oh wow!

This tree thing is making us more smiley every day, we had a tree to tree decoration from the staff at the CTC in Liverpool as well as a fir cone from the cf nurse who was a star to Chris and still is to me. My friend who has also been our hairdresser for many many years wanted to send a photo which I am soooooo tempted to post (I have a copy of it on my pc but Mike would kill me if I did), but she couldn't find it. Instead she sent her very old scissors which have cut Chris's hair since he was about 2, she admitted that he was always a challenge as he gave her very precise instructions and woe betide her if she got it wrong.

Tonight Pam, our Mike's ex well surpassed me on the Blue Peter thing as she had handmade two brilliant decorations, one was a manga pic (Chris was very into drawing such things) and on it was written 'Dont cry because it is over, smile because it happened' and the other was a drawing of our Rodney the kitten he made me adopt and just says 'remember'

How brilliant all of this stuff is, I can honestly say I feel quite smiley tonight, I really do.

I'm probably going to bore any readers stupid from now until 2008 about this tree, so 100 points and a coconut if you're still reading on the 2nd of Jan.

The CHRISmas Tree.

We've always loved Christmas here, we're one of those family's who probably wildly overdo it in fact but we're not doing it this year as its far too painful to remember previous one's, so no cards, no pressys, none of the decorations from the attic and no huge credit card bill.....see, there's good and bad in everything.

The one concession we are making is a weeny tree. We asked family and Chris's friends to send something that reminded them of him to put on this weeny tree and its turned out to be a winner, its also made us smile at some of the things that have appeared.

Steve next door sent his weather vein which has two holes in it, apparently a confession was made to him by Lee Chris's mate....'that was me an Pee (Chris's nickname) with the air rifle' he said.

A fiver someone owed him.

Jessica rabbit (because he fancied her)

Much guinness stuff

Rupert (he collected the annuals)

A butterfly from me mum (she has a signed painting of one that Chris did for her)

A postcard of the Millenium bridge in Newcastle (my first excursion to see a mate after Chris's transplant)

I got all Blue Peterish and made a star out of straws and stuck a C in the middle as he always wiped his straw all over my face or in my hair after a calshake and he used sticky letters to put my name on my phones.

A string of kinder toys from Mike, they had an ongoing game of some sort with a massive kinder thing which involved more than I have room to write here.

A beany dog, this one involved the whole family and our good friend Eve it was similar to hide and seek but got silly.

A bit of wood stolen from a neighbours garden over the field, bloody hell that was some barbeque due to my Scottish friend shouting 'Mir wid' into the early hours of the morning and her and Chris haring off to nick it from Charlie's garden saying he'll never ever use the amount he's got stacked by his shed.

Homer Simpson from John because Chris reckoned his dad was Homers long lost twin.

There's a hat on the way as well, anyone who regularly reads my blog will be familiar with the significance of that one.

There's more to come and I will update later with a pic of the tree as I've had a few requests to post about it, meanwhile a massive 'Thank you' to Sandy for sharing this idea with me, I was dubious at first but its made us smile and that takes some doing just now.

Oli's doing well as well.....YAY!!!!!!!!!

Much love to all.
xxx