Edit of last post.

That'll teach me not to tell the world my news until it IS actually news.

Got up this morning and logged on to fill in last couple of details on the application form and they'd emailed me sometime in the night to say they were about to close the vacancy so submit your application NOW. I was asleep for goodness sake. Its closed now so I missed it, do the NHS usually email you during the night to say we see you have started to fill in an application....blah blah blah, bit Big Brotherish if you ask me.

Well they missed their chance.

Scary!!!

I've got a massive grin on my face but I'm a tad nervous as well. I have just applied for a proper job, the first proper job since..........agrhhhh!!!! since I was 25. I've worked on and off all my life but I've been hired without a proper interview and have always worked on the understanding that if Chris got ill I would disappear and reappear when he was better. I don't regret this one bit, it worked well, but now its time for me to get back in there and do a real job.

When I looked at the person specific (list of do you haves) I had them all even though I've been effectively out of the proper job thing for many years, stuff like basic computer course, food health & hygene, caring for people with challenging behaviour, use of fire extinguishers, COSHH and life experience, as I read down the list I got well excited, I had most things on there......arghhhh! I could do this and hell even if I dont get it at least I get a go at the interview thing.

Can you tell I'm a bit nervous, deeeeeeep breath.

As per my instructions to myself I've been in the toolbox and have been very busy lately, so busy I haven't had time to update the old blog.

We did a return visit to the beach last Saturday and our Julie (my sis) got stuck in sinking sand, she laughed loads as she disappeared before our eyes, we ignored her for a while but turned back when she went horizontal. I so should have got a pic at this point and I momentarily thought....should I help with the rescue or take a pic, it was a hard decision as I like to capture the moment but I quite like my sis and she was fast disappearing so I shoved me camera in me pocket lent a hand and took a pic of the 'after effect'

I can now balance on the ball at the gym and do the 'Basil' walk fantabulously and the treadmill is easy peasy now because I've been on it every single day. I even have one of them Ipod holder things that go on your upper arm, its not that I'm trying to keep up with the latest fad or anything its because I used to tuck it down the back of my leggings but during the treadmill bit mine always ends up working its way to my ankles. Have you ever tried retreiving an Ipod while running on an elastic band its not a pretty sight.

Eastern dance class is back up and running and although I'm still rubbish at it I at least look the part now with my beeeeeutiful blue satin skirt, here's a pic of me and Wend looking like we take it seriously....yeah right!

Yesterday we went to a different beach but the tide was coming in dangerously quick so we opted for a country walk, the map said there was a public waterfall and dungeon on the route and as we're all a bit gory and curious we rubbed our hands with glee. Twenty miles later we were still searching for the damn dungeon until a kind man pointed out that it was that slight hollow in the rock that we'd passed many times saying....hahahaha! that can't be it.

Today I didnt miss church, I sang really really loud in monotone but nobody seems to mind cos they're a lovely bunch and this tool is definitley staying in my box.

Work in progress.

An absolutley hugely massive thank you to you all for your comments, I find it hard to accept that I'm not superwoman so that last post was me saying to myself its ok not to be sometimes. We live and learn don't we, as old and wise as we like to think we are we still have some way to go, 'A work in progress' is the best way to describe it I think.

Anyway, I've been in the toolbox and used some this week and I've also got a couple of new one's lined up so the wave is receding and the next blog should be a bit of an easier read.

In the meantime can I ask you to keep Tricia, Nate and Gwyneth in your thoughts and if you do pray please say one for them as they are on an incredibly hard journey just now. This is a link to Nate's blog.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Much love to all.

Waves

Having given myself a huge pat on the back for getting through Christmas and New Year without our Chris I was mightily surprised to find the only too familiar lump in my throat and tightness in my chest only five minutes after waking this morning. Why when possibly the hardest time of the year was behind me did I find myself back at square one, well not quite but still horrid. I sat down and thought about it and it became obvious, I hadn't used anything from of my 'toolbox' recently. I missed church last Sunday, belly dancing hasn't been done for 4 weeks, the gym is a distant memory, gardening in minus whatever degree is less than enticing, my car hasn't tootled along unfamiliar routes and.............these waves just happen sometimes no matter what you do or dont do.

My head hurts.

It was the annual 'Mill do' last night, this is my hubby's work's Christmas party which we haven't been to for a number of years now.. because he doesn't do social. This year I threatened divorce if I didnt get to dress up, eat loads, drink far too much and do the usual cheesy dancing, I threw in and stay overnight breakfast included and by some small miracle he agreed.


The theme was Casino Royale and we were all given £2000 worth of chips, the person who won the most at the end of the night got a prize, but it wasn't me because I got bored. I played a bit of the roulette one then a few hands of blackjack, that was too quick for my mate so we wandered back to the roulette and this is where I got bored, I threw my chips anywhere so I could lose and go dance. Do you know what happens when you try to lose, yep you win and carry on winning so I put the whole £5000 on odds and kept my fingers crossed....yay!!!!!!! I lost, time to boogie.


The meal was one of those spot the very artistically designed courgette hiding behind the tiniest sprig of parsley affairs and it took al dente to new heights but I ate it without complaint because after all it was free. Then we had a balloon blowing up game, thanks to 'E' who decided the mood needed to be jollied along, how hard is it to blow those long skinny one's up arghhh, I did it in the end but I think I pulled a muscle in me chin. Anyway we all let them go and they made farting noises round the room, the mood was suddenly lighter thanks to 'E', thats what I'm going to call him from now on because I think if you're called Ian it works.


The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, me and Wend did a bit of belly dancing I think, we somehow managed to lock ourselves out of our room and there was an extra woman in our bed when we woke up the next morning, don't ask it was all very innocent. I woke at ten past nine and breakfast was due to finish at ten so I stumbled down to the dining roon barely able to focus and started with a gallon of grapefruit juice followed by a massive full English and finished with freshly ground coffee and a Danish pastry. That well made up for the dinner the previous evening.................perfect.


We've been asked to do it all again next Friday, I wonder if I can get away with the threat of divorce twice, I want that breakfast again so I'll give it a go.

Me and our Mike.

Me and John looking far more sober than we were.

Brilliant night!

Is 2008 an Olympic year?

Is it a leap year or something?, world cup maybe? I'm sure there's something important going on next year I just cant remember what it is!.....anyone know?

Anyway, I know some people are probably wondering how we're doing here so I'll tell you. We survived Christmas better than we had thought we would, the morning was hard but the afternoon was a bonus because we laughed loads, I honestly never thought I would be laughing this Christmas how amazing is that, someone was definitley smiling on us. The atmosphere in our house has been very peaceful and calm despite the hordes of visitors who I'm sure have that secret rota on the go again.

I'd like to take a moment to remember last New Year which was spent at the local with Chris, family and friends, it was a fabulous night and I'm so glad we made the effort to go. I wanted to post a pic but have had many pc problems recently and they've gone adrift for now.

I'll probably manage to see 2008 in, John definitley won't as he's working tomorrow and Mike says he's staying in.....yeah right!

Wishing everyone a very happy and healthy new year from us all.

Scrabble & Cards saves Christmas.

With 11 games of scrabble on the go on facebook I popped on and off all Christmas day and as we were having visitors late afternoon my cunning plan was to spring the board game on them. However it soon became apparent that concentration levels were not going to stretch to a word game due to much happy juice being swigged and they'd never beleive my words were proper one's anyway, only my scrabbulous buddies know such things.

So.....we opted for a game of cards, sounds dead easy doesn't it, well it wasn't. My lovely friend Eve was invited for dinner and was delivered to us along with precise instructions.


1) Give her a pint of water now.

2) Give her a pint of water in half an hour.

3) Give her dinner with a pint of water.

4) If 3 hours have elapsed since her arrival and all water has been drunk, she may have a small alcoholic drink followed by a pint of water.

5) Dont give her any more pink champagne, it goes to her head. (obvious)

6) 'Good luck'

We got through that bit and everything was going hunky dory, our visitors arrived and we all settled down to a game of new market which is a favourite of ours. Its not difficult to understand really providing you didnt spend the morning drinking pink champagne. We then realised we had no copper to play with so out came the cf collection box, we have no scruples in this house, we're scousers (exept my hubby).

The card game goes like this, all cards are dealt out exept one, this sits in the middle of the table and is called the horse, everyone puts 2p on the horse and 2p in the kitty...easy. An extra hand is dealt but left out of the game. The person with the lowest red card starts the game, lets say it was the 2 of diamonds then whoever has the 3 plays it you dont take turns you just bloody go if you have the next number and if it stops on you you then play your lowest black..........red then black then red..........2,3,4 etc. flippin heck it was such hard work.

I brought the drinks and we decided to have a well earned break but as my friend sipped hers her face crinkled and very quietly and calmly she said 'Sue you've given me a dirty glass it tastes greasy' I wouldnt do that but humoured her and went to make a fresh one. When I reached into the cupboard for the lime juice I realised I'd given her veg oil instead, well we were helpless I havent laughed that much for many many months it was brilliant. We ended the night playing snap which was about all we were capable of by then, I walked my friend home, played my moves on scrabulous and slept like a brick.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages through various channels and to the game players who have kept me busy over the last few days.

Much love to all.
x

Coconuts and of course....the tree (insert big wink)

First off coconuts will NOT be awarded in advance no matter how high you stick your hand up, if you're still reading in early Jan you'll get one, if not I'll have them all as I'm partial to a coconut.


The latest additions to the tree are:

A bracelet sent to Chris from my good buddy while he was still in hospital after transplant.

Our Lorraine, Chris's cousin sent a memento of a time in their younger years when they used to 'chill out' and put the world to rights.

Suzy one of Chris's bessy buddies brought a magnetic knife and fork, these were stolen from a restaurant where they were having a meal. It was an obsession, I have no end of salt and peppers, very long spoons, strangely shaped glasses etc.......

A mohican came via email from a mum who has also lost her son, her post on the cf forum some time ago touched me, I'd been about to go into 'nag' mode' and it stopped me in my tracks.

Linda Jane said;

I couldn't find a picture of a blue mohican to send you, but you sent me an email with these words about Chris and instead of 'full nag mode' you emailed me and made me smile. 'The last few days he's had a bit of a rebellion against everything he has no control over, resulting in getting a mohican and dying it blue, booking a tattoo and staying out late with his mates'

Smiles have a way of doing the full circle and this one has.


Hiya Sandy,

I dont seem to be able to delete one of your posts, I'm not on my own pc and its being arsey, Good to hear you found some 'Lennons' as Chris called them, he also has a pair. I'll be looking out for something special for Matt's tree next year. Much love and many (((HUGS))) to you and everyone on the yahoo site. xxx

This pc also took some convincing that it could upload a pic, but it gave in eventually.

The tree.........




Many thanks to everyone for their comments on my blog and prayers for a peaceful Christmas for us, we're doing good here at the moment and the decision to not do Xmas in any commercial way has proved to be a well positive move.

Have a good un everyone.
Much love
x

Oh wow!

This tree thing is making us more smiley every day, we had a tree to tree decoration from the staff at the CTC in Liverpool as well as a fir cone from the cf nurse who was a star to Chris and still is to me. My friend who has also been our hairdresser for many many years wanted to send a photo which I am soooooo tempted to post (I have a copy of it on my pc but Mike would kill me if I did), but she couldn't find it. Instead she sent her very old scissors which have cut Chris's hair since he was about 2, she admitted that he was always a challenge as he gave her very precise instructions and woe betide her if she got it wrong.

Tonight Pam, our Mike's ex well surpassed me on the Blue Peter thing as she had handmade two brilliant decorations, one was a manga pic (Chris was very into drawing such things) and on it was written 'Dont cry because it is over, smile because it happened' and the other was a drawing of our Rodney the kitten he made me adopt and just says 'remember'

How brilliant all of this stuff is, I can honestly say I feel quite smiley tonight, I really do.

I'm probably going to bore any readers stupid from now until 2008 about this tree, so 100 points and a coconut if you're still reading on the 2nd of Jan.

The CHRISmas Tree.

We've always loved Christmas here, we're one of those family's who probably wildly overdo it in fact but we're not doing it this year as its far too painful to remember previous one's, so no cards, no pressys, none of the decorations from the attic and no huge credit card bill.....see, there's good and bad in everything.

The one concession we are making is a weeny tree. We asked family and Chris's friends to send something that reminded them of him to put on this weeny tree and its turned out to be a winner, its also made us smile at some of the things that have appeared.

Steve next door sent his weather vein which has two holes in it, apparently a confession was made to him by Lee Chris's mate....'that was me an Pee (Chris's nickname) with the air rifle' he said.

A fiver someone owed him.

Jessica rabbit (because he fancied her)

Much guinness stuff

Rupert (he collected the annuals)

A butterfly from me mum (she has a signed painting of one that Chris did for her)

A postcard of the Millenium bridge in Newcastle (my first excursion to see a mate after Chris's transplant)

I got all Blue Peterish and made a star out of straws and stuck a C in the middle as he always wiped his straw all over my face or in my hair after a calshake and he used sticky letters to put my name on my phones.

A string of kinder toys from Mike, they had an ongoing game of some sort with a massive kinder thing which involved more than I have room to write here.

A beany dog, this one involved the whole family and our good friend Eve it was similar to hide and seek but got silly.

A bit of wood stolen from a neighbours garden over the field, bloody hell that was some barbeque due to my Scottish friend shouting 'Mir wid' into the early hours of the morning and her and Chris haring off to nick it from Charlie's garden saying he'll never ever use the amount he's got stacked by his shed.

Homer Simpson from John because Chris reckoned his dad was Homers long lost twin.

There's a hat on the way as well, anyone who regularly reads my blog will be familiar with the significance of that one.

There's more to come and I will update later with a pic of the tree as I've had a few requests to post about it, meanwhile a massive 'Thank you' to Sandy for sharing this idea with me, I was dubious at first but its made us smile and that takes some doing just now.

Oli's doing well as well.....YAY!!!!!!!!!

Much love to all.
xxx

Bloody Christmas.

Christmas is proving to be a hard time for us as a family so I'm taking some time out now.

As Captain Cook said 'I may be some time'

Much love to all
xxx

Oli

If I ever needed a smile putting on my face it was this week, and I now have one that big I've dislocated me jaw.

Oli got his transplant last night which is such good news, I have followed his blog for ages and ages because he was listed the same time as our Chris, but has waited two and a half years with a fair few false alarms in between. The last week of his blog has been a hard read as he'd obviously got to that point when life becomes an impossible struggle. Words are difficult to find, suffice to say I am sooooo happy for him and his family and friends.

To the family and friends of the donor, thank you so much for giving Oli a new start.




http://www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk/

Our Rodney

Its a year today that a pathetic little kitten turned up at our back door and I was talked into adopting it. Chris wittered away at me about how thin it was and cold and hungry, in the end I gave in, I was always going to be on a loser really one because I love cat's and two because when his mind was made up he just went on and on and on until anything would be agreeable to shut him up.

She is probably the naughtiest cat I have ever come across but I love her to bits, she's made us all laugh loads and I'm sure if she was a human John would divorce me and marry her no problem. Anyway, I decided to do a bit of a blog about it being a year since she arrived because I can't believe that it was that long ago, I was talking to someone this very morning about how time flies, I won't add the 'when you're enjoying it' because that would be a bit black even for me. While looking for a more up to date photo of her I was amused to find this one, if you can't read what the subtitles say its 'You have the gift for bringing joy and laughter into the world' just a coincidence do you think? or was she always meant to come here to keep us smiling.

Who know's.........you decide.

P.S. I don't normally have that much rubbish on my breakfast bar, actually it's Sunday isn't it. I do normally have that much rubbish on my breakfast bar.

Oh yeah and since when were UNMIXT, MACON, JUNGLY and WADI real words, bloody Scrabble, I'm sure it makes them up, wouldnt have my ZEN this morning though and that is a real word ner..............

School, bags and birds.

The second Eastern dance class went very well I thought, I'm a wee bit more in sync now and even volunteered to be one of the first to do the figure eight across the room with everyone watching.

Figure 8:

Take yourself back to primary school days, the hula hoop....with me so far, now whilst doing the hoop bob up and down on the balls of your feet and travel across a distance of about 25ft, slowly. Seconds after I said to Wend I can do this bit the teacher tapped me on the shoulder and started to explain what I was doing wrong......there's always next week eh!

I bought a bag today, had to pay full price for it which didnt go down well, I dont like handbags, they're on my list of hateful objects so I usually buy one from The Heart Foundation or War on Want, but they only had massive one's or weeny one's so I shelled out £6 in Peacocks and got this thing.

It came from Asia and is similar to the now reknown bird flu, I have a generous dose of it and I'm not happy that I couldnt make church on Sunday, had to opt out of a reunion tonight and can't make it for an overnight stay with a good buddy on Friday. The positives, because I always root for them are:

It hasn't affected my appetite, well nothing ever does, I even asked for a corned beef butty while in labour, in fact I demanded one and got it.

Positive number 2, I must not exert myself, yeah right this one I can do.

Positive number 3, It appears to increase one's sex drive so I challenged hubby to a game of scrabble yesterday and melted me eyes at him over his score of 50, but he was glazed at the prospect of triumph so missed the point.

On a more serious note, Christmas is fast approaching and I want to say a huge thank you to my friend Sandy, the tree idea seems to be going down well and its given me something to focus on for the day itself. Will blog more about that later.

Much love to all, try the hoop thing I dare ya.

Shake it baby

I went to the Eastern dancing class last night, it was interesting I'll give it that, however when anybody says to me now 'I've been to the gym' I'll not be impressed in fact I'll mutter to myself 'woosy' because the gym is easy peasy compared to the torture that go's under the name of belly dancing. For a start I have a coordination problem, when she said turn I did and everybody was facing me, not once but every single bloody time. When she said kick your left leg out, out went my right and when she said forward then back I got my feet in a knot.

That lot I laughed about but when the bit with the hips was repeated for the hundredth time I wondered whether she was taking the p**s, throw your hip out like your shutting a car door with it she said, no problem I whacked it and again she said, now do it a million times in the next 10 minutes. I don't know about you but I might close a door with my hip once a week, try doing it 20 times in the space of a minute its hard believe me. She did approach me a few times to tell me to do it this way but I still couldnt get it so just sort of did my own thing and smiled broadly at everyone, it didnt help that my two friends were brill at it even though Wend had bruised her coxyx(sp).

This is a shimee belt and it jangles in time with the hip moves, mine was constantly jangling as I tried desperately to get the rhytmn. All good fun and I'll try anything once, I will have another go because I don't like anything to beat me but I'm glad we have a week to recover because everything aches like hell even my fingers.

Quick.....I'm late!

Quick blog so my good friend has something to read.

My week times 5.

Take hubby to work
Have a quick go on scrabby
Go to work
Do shopping
Have a quick go on scrabby
Pick hubby up from work
Go to gym
Have a quick go on scrabby
Eat
Fall asleep having last go on scrabby

Thats it, except tonight is a bit different as I'm going to belly dancing classes....Do Not Laugh!

Love to all.

Working, well at least something is.

The lack of blogness is not because I'm lazy or disinterested in my life, nor is it because my pc isn't working right which would be a first. Its simply because I now go out to work, I have the greatest admiration for people who do a job and also keep up with the cyber world, I can't do it, I've tried and I can't. I have 3 games of scrabble on the go on facey and thats sent me to bed the last couple of night's in a dither...do I go for my big word or do I block. My last thoughts before I close my eye's are what word has 4 A's an I a U and something else.

Anyway, I've tried to post a slideshow of the hols but at the moment it won't work so the pic's are going on facebook, I'll try to post a link on here sometime in the next month. Until then I'm putting up a pic of the view from my kitchen window at 7am this morning, I panicked and nearly rang 999 as I thought Helsby Hill was on fire but it was the sky.

Watch out Janey, I might be joining you with the natural world photo thingy.

All good here, hope alls good with everyone out there.

Happy Birthday babe, missing you terribly.

Love, Mum Dad and Mike. xxx

Smiley blog

I wasn't really looking forward to my birthday today but when I was in the shower this morning I thought to myself 'am I sad' and before I had time to answer a picture sprang into my mind, it was the one of my birthday in 2005 when I decided to get my own back on Mike and Chris for all the wind ups they had subjected me to. I got into goth gear and visited Chris in hospital, he wasn't amused and refused to speak to me for two days.

Mike loved it...fortunatley.

I remember texting Mark one of my good buddy's from the cf forum and telling him to put his webcam on to see what he thought of my scheme he was tacful bless him, Chris forbade me to get the goth gear out again and I didn't until today. its been a well smiley day and I dare say Chris had a hand in it but I couldn't resist.

Much food and drink was consumed tonight and I'm ready to hit the wooden hills.

Many thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, you have made my day all of you.

Much love to all

Sue xxx