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Oriental Delight.

Cheery note No. 3 didn’t come easy yesterday due to being poisoned by my K.P.F.U. (can’t yet bring myself to say the words) on Tuesday night. You know when you are so startving hungry you’d eat a wellie if it got too close, well that’s what I was like. I’d had a busy (but very enjoyable) day and no time to cook tea before the hairdresser arrived. Because she does us as a job lot its not quick and by the time she went I was ravenous, so sent for a Chinese, I can just about say that word without bringing back the horror of yesterday morning.

While I was eating the K.P.F.U. I thought to myself this isn’t very hot, warning number 1, after a few more mouthfuls I decided Nah!! and put it in the bin. The result was a poorly me yesterday morning, I never moved off the couch all day because when I did try to everything went into spasm. It wasn’t nice.

I did find a wee cheery note though, it was a lovely soft cozy blanket that I rolled myself in like a sausage.

The last attack of the spasm gremlins was 4am this morning, so I’ve had 4 hours free from toe curling, that’s my cheery note for today.

Day 2

Okay its day 2 of LOVE and starting the day on a cheery note, so I decided a bit of music might fit the bill. Now I don’t ever listen to loud noise of any kind early in the morning because I like to wake up quietly so I nipped onto iTunes to find a mellow song. What happened I don’t know but I downloaded ‘I’m walking on Sunshine’ and proceeded to dance round the living room in my pj’s

I’m walking on Sunshine…… Whooah
I’m walking on Sunshine…….Whooah
And don’t it feel good.

I’m off into the garden to plant my sweet peas round the wigwam John made last night, I might have a dance round it first because that song is stuck in my head for the day now.

Love

Church was fab today. For anyone interested in reading why I thought so its on my other blog.

Nothing startlingly interesting to blog about on this one but I'm sure something will happen soon an I'll blog it.

LOVE to all.

Howdy

Just a quickie while I have a connection. I've been busy getting the garden up to scratch for a barbecue on the 28th of June for our 33rd anniversary. We used to have barby's nearly every weekend, sometimes planned and sometimes totally off cuff, I remember one year in particular when we decided to take out the hawthorn hedge that separated us from next door and replace it with a fence. We phoned our good friend Jim for a bit of manual help and he said ' how many bottles of Malt do you reckon that'll take us' big jobs were measured that way here. Wondering what on earth we were going to do with all the now uprooted hedge the next morning we decided to breakfast on it, believe me you've not lived until you've had bacon and egg fried on a hawthorn hedge, its special.

Anyway back to the BIG barby, the dress code is cowboy/cowgirl, except for my good friend who's been cryin at me constantly because she wants to be a saloon floosy. We're having a polka table and some country music as well as good ole western food but have decided against hay bales as we have some paraffin torches, guests who like a fag and loads of decking, a bit much for John's mini extinguisher I think.

I did think about one of them horses that try to fling you off their back and someone suggested inflatable cactus, might be a bit dodgy googling bucking bronco and blow up plastic though I'd be here all night with the results that would produce.

Any other idea's?

I'm a bit excited.

Anyone who can get here is more than welcome.

Online momentarily.

We’ve had fun and games here with this pc, it won and I got so frustrated at not being able to stay online long enough to type three words I decided enough was definitely enough. When you get wound up over a machine its time to ask yourself ‘Do I need things in my life that cause me to want to smash it to bit’s’ and the answer of course is ‘Yes’ I had made the decision to ignore the fact I couldn’t get online and took myself into the garden, but John made it work last night so here I am. How long I’ll be here is anyone’s guess, its up to BT, Talk Talk, Norton, Netgear, AOL or whoever else insists on interfering and poking its nose into it. I hate that Norton thing it thinks its IT doesn’t it, every time you do anything it pops up and say’s ‘hang on hang on you’re not looking at that till I say you can’…..arghhhh! GO AWAY cease to exist you bossy, nosey, bigheaded piece of filth hiding behind my screen.

I feel better now and will blog about the thing that got past me later today if its still working. Off for that MRI scan now, I’ve just made myself a CD called God 1 which I’ll be playing until I go and on my journey there, hopefully that will fill me with much calmness and I will manage to stay in the hole without pressing the buzzer to come out 10 times as I did last time. Claustraphobia eh!!! who'd have it.

I don't know, I really don't.

Blimey I didn’t think anything got past me but apparently it does. I’m having a bit of a chuckle whilst I type this cos I’m a bit erm…..shall we say amused.

Uh Ooooh!!!!

I see trouble ahead.

We thought our fairly new neighbours had seen our cabin and fancied one for themselves, but on closer observation by me (while hiding behind a bush) I saw to my horror that this was no ordinary cabin thing. When questioned by solar light they confessed they intended to keep chickens.

Now don't get me wrong I absolutley love chickens, in fact I've always wanted to have some myself. I've even imagined me strolling down the garden calling them by name, Hilda, Betty and Roo (the handsome rooster) would all scuttle their webby little feet excitidly to greet me.

But then I saw the many bird feeders they'd hung in the apple tree......Oh nooooo. Birds are another of my favourite animals and at one time I was an avid twitcher. I could identify dozens of them and could even tell you if they were male or female.

I should be made up that we are to have such a wonderful array of animal life next door, but I'm not because we have 3 and a half cats here who all love to hunt even though they're the best fed moggies in the world. Them birds wont stand a chance.

The half cat is called Bob, I'm not sure whether he's a stray tame one or a slightly friendly feral one but he won't move in, he just eats on the step twice a day and rewards us with the odd vole or mouse or bird.

They're lovely my new neighbours, prehaps it would be a good move to invite them to the next barbeque.......yikes!!!

Puff pant an all that.

Woohooooooo!!!

Just been to the gym and I can still do it.

Smiley.

Yes or No update.

Awwww bless you to bits Emmie, thank you for that lovely comment. A great big thanks to everyone else who posted a comment on the 'oh poo' blog its certainly given me an extra bit of ooomph to fight my corner.

However my luck might just be in as it now looks as though one uni is prepared to consider me and I've been given an unconditional place on the access course so I'm very happy for now.

Meanwhile I was packing bags in Sainsbury's for our church's homeless project on Monday and I loved it, man can I yak on and on. I'll have to learn to curb that pronto or I'll never get all the beds made and the tea given out on the ward. Its back to the kitchen job tomorrow for a week and a half because my sister is having yet another holiday. I should stay out of trouble there although my boss, who is just a bit of a kid says I eat most of the profit and dole out kingsize portions so he has to increase his order when I'm due to do a stint. And he has to shout cos I'm a wee bit deaf....why the hell do I keep getting called back then I ask myself.

Love to all.

Water sports

The damn cat fell in the pond today.

When she went in...

He came out.....So I kissed him an I'm off for an early nite :D

Oh POO!!!!!

I've just got back from my one to one interview at college and..........

I might be too old to do nursing, I'm gutted. I told her I put my age on my application form and they then invited me on that admissions evening, they talked at me and gave me a one to one interview....huh!! She said they don't look at the age and she thought I was a lot younger than I am. I was momentarily very happy with that bit but I sooooo want to do nursing its been a passion since I was 15, I just noticed thats my age now back to front.

My next step is to email the two uni's to enquire whether they'll take me and if they won't its back to the drawing board. I've calmed down now, there's probably no end of other things I can do so I'm not getting worked up about it. I'm fitter, more confident and a heck of a lot cleverer than I was when I was 15 and I want to work until I'm at least 70, d'you hear that....I WANT TO WORK.

Rant over, our Mike has just suggested I do something gardeny and I have to say I am a bit green fingered and I have room for a wee garden centre and coffee shop here, so if its a no I have something else up my sleeve. nerrrrr.

Been to the beach

Plans to go to the beach today were delayed due to son being sent to casualty from work in a taxi with a dodgy hand. Naturally I received a text and was there before him. We've been nodding and aahhing for a while now as Mike has mumbled on about his hand but give him his due an x-ray today said it had been broken but had practically healed, just some tendon and ligament damage left. I ran him back to work at his request and we headed for the beach, I'd like to record here I did feel sorry for him.

An amazing thing happened, I took a photo of what I thought was a crab mating with a shell.

Then when I got home and downloaded the pics to my amazement the shell now had legs.

And........we were being watched.

Its been an exciting day in my world but the very best bit was yet to come.

I squiddled about in this mud for ages, its a primeval thing.

Oh yeah and finally I took a pic of John and when downloaded there was a weeny Loch Ness monster in it.

What d'ya mean you can't see it!

I think I've surpassed many in pics of the natural world...what a day!

Great Strides 2

I've been on a little cloud since we did the walk yesterday and I don't really want to get off it, so I wont......yet.

Where do I start about the positives of yesterday, it was wonderfully relaxed and scenic, beautiful weather and fun. I got to see my very lovely friend and her family and most of all it was a fitting tribute to Chris. All in all a very successful venture.




I particularly enjoyed the rolling down the hill challenge with my mate who tells well cheesy jokes ;-) and Joey made me giggle when he hared across to us shouting 'Sue I'm going to run down it, bless him.



We did the red hair thing so that's off my list.



It was magic to have John and Mike on a venture with me because they don't usually do public, that was special.


The messages I've had from people over the last few days and the amazing support we've had in sponsorship has helped us get through this last week with a smile on our faces and thats priceless that is.


Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Great Strides - Part 1

Brilliantley positive fab day this was. Part 2 tomorrow.

Now you see it.........

I've worked like a trojan today so its worth a blog.

Hedge before.

Secret garden bit was hard going.

Hedge after.

Note where the grass is non existent, thats where the garage fell down and we (I) only just got round to clearing the debris.

Having dipped in the toolbox I'll sleep like a bick tonight, thats for sure.

Quick Blog

Just doing a quicky so I know what I've been up to recently. On Saturday night I went to a show in Liverpool, it was Dancing on Ice and it was at the Echo Arena. My friend Eve had bought the tickets as a treat for me and we also ate out which was scrummy. I did go into the gents instead of the ladies and there were two men mid pee, my mind said go out quick but my body froze and my eyes stared why does that happen sometimes....yikes!!! They were scousers though so they just laughed and cracked a couple of dodgy jokes.

Liver Building where I used to work.

Me & Echo Arena

Yesterday was spent in the garden.

Me on couch

John cooking

I was at the hoz yesterday with the damn ear and they said I'm deaf in it and they can't fix it, and they can't get rid of the noise in it. Ah well, at least I have one good one. I have to go in one of them horrid MRI things which mortifies me a bit being a claustraphobic person, last time I pressed the button to come out about 10 times. I'll add it to my list 'get over claustraphobia' that should work.

Today the cf nurse came, we nattered loads and chose a drawing of Chris's to be framed and put on the wall at the unit, I think that's really quite nice along with the Great Strides and a yellow ribbon for his willow.

Massive thanks to all who have sponsored us for the walk and helped us to focus on a positive, you're stars all of you.

I'm off into the garden again now, I'm loving this weather and outdoor eating.

So far so good here!

Love to all.

Sam

Sadly another precious life was lost on Friday, like far too many Sam's call just didnt come in time.

Breathe easy now Sam.

If you haven't already signed up to the donor register please consider doing it now.

http://www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk/

A good week.

In the grand scheme of things I've had a really good week this week so I've decided to do a mixed blog on my normal blog, because its positive.

Firstly I worked most of last week and thats always a good thing for me (positive) what wasn't brill about the situation was I was covering for my sister who I love to bits, she was as ill as anything and got herself a bit down as you do when feeling under the weather. However she's a lot better now (positive).

I was off on Wednesday because I had a dentist appointment and I was going to see a fellow cf parent who lost her son 6 weeks after we said goodbye to Chris. I haven't been to a dentist for a very loooooong time and was amazed that I only needed one filling.....ONE!!!! (positive). After that I muddled my way to yet another part of the Wirral that was a bit alien to me, but I found it easy peasy (positive). Me and M had a really good day, we laughed loads, cried a bit and scoffed many batches followed by delicious home made Coffee cake (positive).

I've been asked a number of times now (twice this week) isn't it hard to keep up contact with world cf? Absolutley not! In fact its the opposite, I've made many good friends through cf (positive) and they are just that, the fact that we first met through cf doesn't matter a jot, I love people and the more I can meet in this life the better. I'm made up when someone who's been poorly gets better and I'm delighted when someone on the transplant list gets their call because I 100% beleive that transplant is the way to go until they find a cure or a treatment that prolongs life. I have empathy when someone loses a loved one and feel blessed that I can go visit them and come away feeling we have helped each other. (positive).

Despite losing my lovely son I do still love life and I have lots to look forward to.

BIG Breakfast.

What a fun day its been in my world today. It began at about 6-15am when my phone went cuckoo cuckoo, thats the noise it makes when I get a text, but I thought I was dreaming because it was Saturday and nobody in their right mind texts you at ridiculous o-clock on a Saturday - do they?? So I turned over and tried hard to get back into the fab dream I was having, it was something to do with watching the sun set from a luxury wooden hoose on legs, waves lapping an all that (your fault Sandy). Then it hit me, the text was real and it could be an emergency so I swung my legs out of the sea/bed and tried hard to focus. It was indeed an emergency.

We have a thing called the 'Mens breakfast' at our church, and they were short of a bod due to much throwingupness of a member of the team (pinched this word from Em's own language) could I please help out. I re-read the text, it was from my lovely friend Wend and decided I could do this in fact I went derr derit derr derr derit derr derr...thats the theme tune to the A team in case you didnt know.

I stumbled downstairs and put John in the picture, he said you can do this, made me a coffee and shoved me out of the door, bless him.

I loved it, we fed about 50 men and I got myself on the team for future BIG breakfasts, I also managed to pick up another job as kitchenlookerafterer once a month.....thanks Chris (big grin). Naturally we all had a mega big plate of everything once we finished so I did my mile swim this afternoon, followed by Tesco's where I purchased a massive cream cake..............perfect.

High 5 to Al, Chris, Wend & me and a massive (((HUG))) to Ian, hope you're feeling better chuck, have to say though my hash browns were particularly good (wink).

Do what I do, not what I say.

Ok this is only little but its a step in the right direction. Tonight at the Eastern dance class she split us into groups and told us to chose a leader who would direct the rest of the group in a bit of a routine. My group all thought this girl who'd been doing it for ages would be the natural choice, so we sort of pointed at her and said 'you'll do it', but she wouldnt. She said to me you do it so I said ok. Bear in mind here that I am always facing the opposite way to the class, but I said to myself right you if you have to do presentations in front of a whole class come September you better start right now. I was nervous....very nervous but I did it and do you know what it wasn't half as hard as I thought it would be.

I didnt get it totally right but I had a go.

I'm well pleased with myself tonight.

I shaved another 5 minutes off the mile swim today and did it in an hour but thats IT, I swam flat out without a break so I'm leaving it there otherwise it becomes hard work instead of leisure. The oyster's next and I'll do it on my own seeing as though Gilly hasn't taken up my challenge ;-)

I'm cheating on the dye your hair red one, Lorraine and I are wearing not quite red wigs for The Great Strides walk so thats that one done. I'm allowed to cheat because its my list and I'm the boss of it.

Learn to ride a motorbike was on my last list and I haven't done it yet, however A has offered the use of an offroad bike whenever I fancy having a go and I do, so as soon as the big yellow shiny thing seriously hits the sky I'm heading for a field somewhere and probably a ditch as well.

Other than that I'm reading many books lately, most recent being The Witch of Portabelo and Angels & Demons, I'm into Dan Brown at the moment and started The Da Vinci Code last night, as with anything I do I do it to the max so if I'm sitting I'm reading.

We're fast approaching the dreaded anniverssary but I'm doing good at the moment, I have a focus beyond the day which is a big positive and I have lots of things to do on my list yet.

Number 1 - Be a nurse.

I went for a sort of group interview tonight at college and guess what, I'm on the course woohoooooo! I have a one to one interview on the 15th of May to discuss my modules. No.1 on my list is underway and I'm a bit excited I tell ya.

Lists

My hubby must have been talking to his secretary about my 1-10 list and she said she’d like to see it as she also had one, she called it her quest to get things done before she forgot where she put her teeth. I sent her my list and said I’d be interested in reading hers as I love to see what other people would like to do or have already done.

She’s done the oysters (nasty little creatures she said), dyed her hair red, mowed the lawn in the rain (that was on my last list) and done the karaoke, she’s also done New York hailing a yellow taxi with a doughnut in one hand and cappuccino in the other, visited Rome and done Monte Carlo to see the racetrack and casino’s, to name just a few……brilliant.

Her new list includes visit The Great Wall of China, a rapid water ride, buy an Audi TT convertible, sleep with Brad Pitt and a helicopter ride (no sides like the army one’s) slightly more ambitious than my list but hey its great to have a plan.

I’m nicking Rome and adding it to mine because it keeps coming up, several of my friends have been and loved it and the book I’m reading just now is centred around The Vatican, I’ve also added go to a football match preferably a Liverpool home game as I’d love to be in the crowd in the Kop.

I knocked 5 minutes off my swim a mile time on Saturday, I did it in 1hour 5mins which I thought was a major achievement until I was reliably informed that the Olympic time was about 12 minutes….Hahahahahaha!!!!! One day eh, in my dreams.

Milestone

Woooohoooo!!

Our pool has been closed for 2 weeks down at the gym so I couldnt make a start on my mile thing, having heard it was now open I took off for a quick swim this morning. I got to 30 lengths fairly easily and decided to go for 40, on reaching 40 I felt ok so convinced myself 50 was do-able. At 50 (lengths not years as I'm 51) I wondered if I was being a bit ambitious/bonkers to try for 60 which is a mile just in case I didnt mention it. At 54 cramp reared its ugly head and the lifeguard glanced in my direction with a look of 'here we go I'm going to have to rescue that one' Oh bloody no you are not I thought. After a quick massage by myself not the lifeguard I was off and completed a mile in 1 hour 10 minutes....yippeeee.

I can tell right now that I probably wont be able to use my arms very much tomorrow but hey it was so worth it, thats No. 7 off the list.

Tricia

Like thousands of others around the world I have been following Tricia, Nate and Gwyneths journey. We heard last night that Tricia's 2nd tx call went ahead and as of now she is still in theatre. She needs our prayers right now.

www.cfhusband.blogspot.com

1 - 10 list review

Its been a while since I updated my list of things to do before I die, I've knocked a fair few off so I started a new one this afternoon and it goes like this.

1 - Be a nurse
2 - Drive a canal boat
3 - Eat an oyster (euk!! not looking forward to that one)
4 - Write a poem
5 - Speak in public (I'd rather do the oyster)
6 - Dye my hair red
7 - Swim a mile (thats 60 lengths)
8 - Get above 1400 in my scrabbulous rating
9 -
0 -

I'm calling the last one 0 because 10 made my list look untidy. Having knocked a fair few off lately I can't think of anything for 9 and 0 yet, but I will. Number one will be there for a while, four years in fact, I start the swim one tomorrow and hope to hit the 60 lengths within two weeks (I just love to set targets). Do Asda do oysters? if so I'll pop down there tomorrow and thats 3 gone. I've started my poem, be brutally honest should I consider sending it to be published, John's not sure.

Do you ever wonder why
We were'nt born in the sky
instead of on earth
Or walk on our hands
Face close to the turf
Why cars don't run on tracks
above the rooves
Or why we have feet
instead of hooves
and who decided........

I think its best to leave it open ended, gives it an air of mystery dont ya think.

Is rooves a proper word, I've been sitting here saying it over and over and it sounds very odd.

*wink*

B&B

Blogs....I now read so many that I barely have time to blog.
&
Brrrrrr!.... No walk this weekend..we don't do cold.

Warm hugs to all. Roll on summer.

Catch up

I'm a bit behind in the blogging world as I've been tied up with widgets and things, they're a piece of cake to some people but as soon as they see its me they instantly think to themselves quick mess it up before she thinks she's clever. I won though and I'll tell you about it after I've done a quick one about the walk last Saturday, ok I know its boring but I'm keeping a diary of where we walk and when just so we know see.

Saturday the 15th amble was a long one at another beach, not much to report except that John nearly got marooned due to his wanting to watch the tide fill in a little pool which became a big pool and then an ocean while he stared out to sea oblivious of the fact that he was about to drown......

Me on the rocks nearly at New Brighton ignoring the fact that John is stranded.

Now then back to the widget, thats the thing on the right hand side of the blog which say's Justgiving In memory of Chris Pearson. As the first anniversary of our saying goodbye to Chris approached we heard about The Great Strides walk through my friend Lorraine and decided it would be a good move to join her and her family in something positive at a time that could very easily be negative. It takes place on the 10th of May just one day after the dreaded anniversary and hopefully it will give me John and Mike a focus beyond the day.

Feel free to chuck a copper and a message on the justgiving page to help us raise as much as we can so that parents in the future don't have to say goodbye to their children as we and many others have had to.

Got a lump in my throat now so I'm going.

Boyzone's ' No matter what' done proper.

Well thats number 4 off the list, I finally plucked up the courage to get up and sing at a karaoke night eventhough I'm completley tone deaf. Why the hell I didnt just settle for mumbling quietly into the microphone is beyond me.....Oh Noooooo! if I'm going to knock something off my list I'm going to do it big time.

I burst into song well before the music started, then my arm threw itself into the air and I got louder and louder. The look on our Jul's face is one of pure shock as I continued to imagine I was a superstar....*groan*

The walk this week was hard work after a late night.

View over Parkgate Marshes, there's a hill on that horizon called Moel Famau, we'll climb that sometime soon.

Hope alls good with everyone.

Helsby Hill. Part 2.

First I must warn any readers of this blog that its in danger of becoming an anorak type diary and might bore you sometime soon. I make no apologies for this though, in fact I activley promote the anorakness of getting a good pair of sturdy boots on and walking in the great outdoors.....

John doesn't do dogs that guard farms and I dont do moo cows so our walks are a wee bit fraught sometimes, like the time we took off on a 5 mile one. 10 miles later, having had to detour because of canine's bovine's and the odd nasty goose we were lost and it was lashing down with rain AND we were in a field full of some crop that was taller than us. Not the very best walk we've had so on Saturday I suggested a hill instead, surely we wouldnt meet many cows, I knew there were no farms because it was too steep and when did you last see a goose wandering on a big hill......sorted. The wind however could be a problem but we decided to brave it anyway.

Half way up clinging to a bush on the cliff edge.
John first to the summit.
Me and my sis on the top dangerously close to beeing blown off.
Steve John and Julie (coffee time) Note our Jul found a hanger for bag.
View over the Mersey estuary.

Throwing a bit of history in google says Helsby Hill is an ancient viking hill fort.....I'm well impressed that I can see a viking thing out of my bedroom window.

Helsby Hill

We might climb it today.........

Wales

Aaaaahhhhh!!

I've had the great pleasure of spending a girls day in with nibbles, gorgeous wee butties, heavenly chocs and a massive glass of Shiraz whilst taking in wonderful scenery and laughing heniously at anything and everything. The main ingredient for this fab day was people as is so often the case. We don't need a limo a flash restaurant or loads of dosh to spend on clothes to make us feel uplifted or positive just some damn good company and a field full of sheep to stare at.

What makes it even better is having a good old moan competition, there's no better therapy than seeing if you can out moan your buddies and then end up laughing loads, it dilutes the things that are peeing you off and makes them seem less important. Another essential when girls get together is a man who appears periodically with coffee or wine and does his best to appear interested by muttering suggestions about how to improve one's life and is told to get back in his cubby hole. I loved him to bits, he was soooooo placid and did as he was told with a bit of a wry smile on his face.

I like Wales and I think I'll live there sometime, its definitley going in my toolbox along with the people I spent the day with.





The food.

The sheep.

Brilliant!!!

Dog blog

This beach walk we're doing is becoming a habit but there was something missing, hubby decided we needed a dog, dogs and walks go together nicely. You can reflect better when throwing a stick and seeing the pure joy in the dogs face when they retreive it and trot back. They grin massively when they fool you into thinking they're going to drop it, oh no! its not that easy, you have to beg and get covered in dog spit as you try to wrestle it out of their mouth until they finally give in and allow you to think you won....well you didnt they just humour you.

Anyway we borrowed our neighbours dog yesterday, she's a cracker her name is Bess and she has one blue eye and one brown eye. It was magic, so magic in fact that I had a spiffing idea.

We could charge people a vast sum of money (a bit less than kennels do) to look after their dogs while they're on holiday and then we could have a totally different set up running alongside, sort of 'Rent a dog' for a walk on the beach or through the forest, we'd charge for this service as well, double yer money. Brilliant!

Little yappy things - £5 per hour

Middle size mongrels - £7 per hour

Massive ego boosters - £10 per hour

Bess insisting I take a well earned rest on the rocks, Oh yeah note the 'pink' earmuffs sent to me by a good buddy because beaches make me deaf and I hear waves in my ears for days afterwards....not any more though.

Get some canine therapy, I thoroughly recommend it.

Thanks folks for agreeing that the NHS made a grave error in not hiring me, they did ring me at twenty past twelve last night when they found out who I was but I told them, no second chances......sorry.

I took the bull by the horns today and went to the local college to enquire about being a nurse. The man/boy was excellent, I said I was interested in doing nursing but wondered if I was too old, he smiled and said 'No you are not too old' but you dont know how old I am I said 'I dont need to ask the question' he replied. I liked that answer. As he was about to begin I said to him I'm deaf, but before I could say the other words which were at the moment he started to speak with a rubber mouth so that I could lip read. Blimey I should have interrupted there and then but I didnt and I have no idea why I decided to indulge his obvious talent for conveying words through lip shapes, I just appreciate it when people make that extra bit effort with anything and can't resist so I left it as it was and stared at his lips, paused, then answered with a smile.

Now then because I have no qualifications......yep none, not a oner I'm doing an access course which lasts 1 year and is intensive. I then go on to do a degree which is luckily at my local Uni in Chester. Sounds good doesn't it. I have never visualised myself gaining a degree, why? well for reasons I'm not going to go into here my school days were not the favourite bit of my life and I left just before I was invited to go. I did try the entrance exam for nursing just after leaving school but failed on the maths, they said to come back and try again because I only just failed but I walked into an office job then a dental nurse job then another very good office job. Then I got married and lived in a creepy flat where the landlady floated about in chiffon stole peoples washing off the line and there were also strange circles in the garden so we decided it was time to save for a mortgage and five years later we had our Mike. Chris followed two years later and I embarked on my big stay at home. The rest is history.

I've told John and Mike I'll need an occasional kick up the rear and some encouragement the rest is up to me.

The man/boy never did ask my real age and for once I hope he didnt think I was a lot younger than I am because I'll be well gutted now if I am too old.

Much love to all.

Edit of last post.

That'll teach me not to tell the world my news until it IS actually news.

Got up this morning and logged on to fill in last couple of details on the application form and they'd emailed me sometime in the night to say they were about to close the vacancy so submit your application NOW. I was asleep for goodness sake. Its closed now so I missed it, do the NHS usually email you during the night to say we see you have started to fill in an application....blah blah blah, bit Big Brotherish if you ask me.

Well they missed their chance.

Scary!!!

I've got a massive grin on my face but I'm a tad nervous as well. I have just applied for a proper job, the first proper job since..........agrhhhh!!!! since I was 25. I've worked on and off all my life but I've been hired without a proper interview and have always worked on the understanding that if Chris got ill I would disappear and reappear when he was better. I don't regret this one bit, it worked well, but now its time for me to get back in there and do a real job.

When I looked at the person specific (list of do you haves) I had them all even though I've been effectively out of the proper job thing for many years, stuff like basic computer course, food health & hygene, caring for people with challenging behaviour, use of fire extinguishers, COSHH and life experience, as I read down the list I got well excited, I had most things on there......arghhhh! I could do this and hell even if I dont get it at least I get a go at the interview thing.

Can you tell I'm a bit nervous, deeeeeeep breath.

As per my instructions to myself I've been in the toolbox and have been very busy lately, so busy I haven't had time to update the old blog.

We did a return visit to the beach last Saturday and our Julie (my sis) got stuck in sinking sand, she laughed loads as she disappeared before our eyes, we ignored her for a while but turned back when she went horizontal. I so should have got a pic at this point and I momentarily thought....should I help with the rescue or take a pic, it was a hard decision as I like to capture the moment but I quite like my sis and she was fast disappearing so I shoved me camera in me pocket lent a hand and took a pic of the 'after effect'

I can now balance on the ball at the gym and do the 'Basil' walk fantabulously and the treadmill is easy peasy now because I've been on it every single day. I even have one of them Ipod holder things that go on your upper arm, its not that I'm trying to keep up with the latest fad or anything its because I used to tuck it down the back of my leggings but during the treadmill bit mine always ends up working its way to my ankles. Have you ever tried retreiving an Ipod while running on an elastic band its not a pretty sight.

Eastern dance class is back up and running and although I'm still rubbish at it I at least look the part now with my beeeeeutiful blue satin skirt, here's a pic of me and Wend looking like we take it seriously....yeah right!

Yesterday we went to a different beach but the tide was coming in dangerously quick so we opted for a country walk, the map said there was a public waterfall and dungeon on the route and as we're all a bit gory and curious we rubbed our hands with glee. Twenty miles later we were still searching for the damn dungeon until a kind man pointed out that it was that slight hollow in the rock that we'd passed many times saying....hahahaha! that can't be it.

Today I didnt miss church, I sang really really loud in monotone but nobody seems to mind cos they're a lovely bunch and this tool is definitley staying in my box.

Work in progress.

An absolutley hugely massive thank you to you all for your comments, I find it hard to accept that I'm not superwoman so that last post was me saying to myself its ok not to be sometimes. We live and learn don't we, as old and wise as we like to think we are we still have some way to go, 'A work in progress' is the best way to describe it I think.

Anyway, I've been in the toolbox and used some this week and I've also got a couple of new one's lined up so the wave is receding and the next blog should be a bit of an easier read.

In the meantime can I ask you to keep Tricia, Nate and Gwyneth in your thoughts and if you do pray please say one for them as they are on an incredibly hard journey just now. This is a link to Nate's blog.

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/

Much love to all.

Waves

Having given myself a huge pat on the back for getting through Christmas and New Year without our Chris I was mightily surprised to find the only too familiar lump in my throat and tightness in my chest only five minutes after waking this morning. Why when possibly the hardest time of the year was behind me did I find myself back at square one, well not quite but still horrid. I sat down and thought about it and it became obvious, I hadn't used anything from of my 'toolbox' recently. I missed church last Sunday, belly dancing hasn't been done for 4 weeks, the gym is a distant memory, gardening in minus whatever degree is less than enticing, my car hasn't tootled along unfamiliar routes and.............these waves just happen sometimes no matter what you do or dont do.

My head hurts.

It was the annual 'Mill do' last night, this is my hubby's work's Christmas party which we haven't been to for a number of years now.. because he doesn't do social. This year I threatened divorce if I didnt get to dress up, eat loads, drink far too much and do the usual cheesy dancing, I threw in and stay overnight breakfast included and by some small miracle he agreed.


The theme was Casino Royale and we were all given £2000 worth of chips, the person who won the most at the end of the night got a prize, but it wasn't me because I got bored. I played a bit of the roulette one then a few hands of blackjack, that was too quick for my mate so we wandered back to the roulette and this is where I got bored, I threw my chips anywhere so I could lose and go dance. Do you know what happens when you try to lose, yep you win and carry on winning so I put the whole £5000 on odds and kept my fingers crossed....yay!!!!!!! I lost, time to boogie.


The meal was one of those spot the very artistically designed courgette hiding behind the tiniest sprig of parsley affairs and it took al dente to new heights but I ate it without complaint because after all it was free. Then we had a balloon blowing up game, thanks to 'E' who decided the mood needed to be jollied along, how hard is it to blow those long skinny one's up arghhh, I did it in the end but I think I pulled a muscle in me chin. Anyway we all let them go and they made farting noises round the room, the mood was suddenly lighter thanks to 'E', thats what I'm going to call him from now on because I think if you're called Ian it works.


The rest of the night is a bit of a blur, me and Wend did a bit of belly dancing I think, we somehow managed to lock ourselves out of our room and there was an extra woman in our bed when we woke up the next morning, don't ask it was all very innocent. I woke at ten past nine and breakfast was due to finish at ten so I stumbled down to the dining roon barely able to focus and started with a gallon of grapefruit juice followed by a massive full English and finished with freshly ground coffee and a Danish pastry. That well made up for the dinner the previous evening.................perfect.


We've been asked to do it all again next Friday, I wonder if I can get away with the threat of divorce twice, I want that breakfast again so I'll give it a go.

Me and our Mike.

Me and John looking far more sober than we were.

Brilliant night!

Is 2008 an Olympic year?

Is it a leap year or something?, world cup maybe? I'm sure there's something important going on next year I just cant remember what it is!.....anyone know?

Anyway, I know some people are probably wondering how we're doing here so I'll tell you. We survived Christmas better than we had thought we would, the morning was hard but the afternoon was a bonus because we laughed loads, I honestly never thought I would be laughing this Christmas how amazing is that, someone was definitley smiling on us. The atmosphere in our house has been very peaceful and calm despite the hordes of visitors who I'm sure have that secret rota on the go again.

I'd like to take a moment to remember last New Year which was spent at the local with Chris, family and friends, it was a fabulous night and I'm so glad we made the effort to go. I wanted to post a pic but have had many pc problems recently and they've gone adrift for now.

I'll probably manage to see 2008 in, John definitley won't as he's working tomorrow and Mike says he's staying in.....yeah right!

Wishing everyone a very happy and healthy new year from us all.

Scrabble & Cards saves Christmas.

With 11 games of scrabble on the go on facebook I popped on and off all Christmas day and as we were having visitors late afternoon my cunning plan was to spring the board game on them. However it soon became apparent that concentration levels were not going to stretch to a word game due to much happy juice being swigged and they'd never beleive my words were proper one's anyway, only my scrabbulous buddies know such things.

So.....we opted for a game of cards, sounds dead easy doesn't it, well it wasn't. My lovely friend Eve was invited for dinner and was delivered to us along with precise instructions.


1) Give her a pint of water now.

2) Give her a pint of water in half an hour.

3) Give her dinner with a pint of water.

4) If 3 hours have elapsed since her arrival and all water has been drunk, she may have a small alcoholic drink followed by a pint of water.

5) Dont give her any more pink champagne, it goes to her head. (obvious)

6) 'Good luck'

We got through that bit and everything was going hunky dory, our visitors arrived and we all settled down to a game of new market which is a favourite of ours. Its not difficult to understand really providing you didnt spend the morning drinking pink champagne. We then realised we had no copper to play with so out came the cf collection box, we have no scruples in this house, we're scousers (exept my hubby).

The card game goes like this, all cards are dealt out exept one, this sits in the middle of the table and is called the horse, everyone puts 2p on the horse and 2p in the kitty...easy. An extra hand is dealt but left out of the game. The person with the lowest red card starts the game, lets say it was the 2 of diamonds then whoever has the 3 plays it you dont take turns you just bloody go if you have the next number and if it stops on you you then play your lowest black..........red then black then red..........2,3,4 etc. flippin heck it was such hard work.

I brought the drinks and we decided to have a well earned break but as my friend sipped hers her face crinkled and very quietly and calmly she said 'Sue you've given me a dirty glass it tastes greasy' I wouldnt do that but humoured her and went to make a fresh one. When I reached into the cupboard for the lime juice I realised I'd given her veg oil instead, well we were helpless I havent laughed that much for many many months it was brilliant. We ended the night playing snap which was about all we were capable of by then, I walked my friend home, played my moves on scrabulous and slept like a brick.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages through various channels and to the game players who have kept me busy over the last few days.

Much love to all.
x

Coconuts and of course....the tree (insert big wink)

First off coconuts will NOT be awarded in advance no matter how high you stick your hand up, if you're still reading in early Jan you'll get one, if not I'll have them all as I'm partial to a coconut.


The latest additions to the tree are:

A bracelet sent to Chris from my good buddy while he was still in hospital after transplant.

Our Lorraine, Chris's cousin sent a memento of a time in their younger years when they used to 'chill out' and put the world to rights.

Suzy one of Chris's bessy buddies brought a magnetic knife and fork, these were stolen from a restaurant where they were having a meal. It was an obsession, I have no end of salt and peppers, very long spoons, strangely shaped glasses etc.......

A mohican came via email from a mum who has also lost her son, her post on the cf forum some time ago touched me, I'd been about to go into 'nag' mode' and it stopped me in my tracks.

Linda Jane said;

I couldn't find a picture of a blue mohican to send you, but you sent me an email with these words about Chris and instead of 'full nag mode' you emailed me and made me smile. 'The last few days he's had a bit of a rebellion against everything he has no control over, resulting in getting a mohican and dying it blue, booking a tattoo and staying out late with his mates'

Smiles have a way of doing the full circle and this one has.


Hiya Sandy,

I dont seem to be able to delete one of your posts, I'm not on my own pc and its being arsey, Good to hear you found some 'Lennons' as Chris called them, he also has a pair. I'll be looking out for something special for Matt's tree next year. Much love and many (((HUGS))) to you and everyone on the yahoo site. xxx

This pc also took some convincing that it could upload a pic, but it gave in eventually.

The tree.........




Many thanks to everyone for their comments on my blog and prayers for a peaceful Christmas for us, we're doing good here at the moment and the decision to not do Xmas in any commercial way has proved to be a well positive move.

Have a good un everyone.
Much love
x

Oh wow!

This tree thing is making us more smiley every day, we had a tree to tree decoration from the staff at the CTC in Liverpool as well as a fir cone from the cf nurse who was a star to Chris and still is to me. My friend who has also been our hairdresser for many many years wanted to send a photo which I am soooooo tempted to post (I have a copy of it on my pc but Mike would kill me if I did), but she couldn't find it. Instead she sent her very old scissors which have cut Chris's hair since he was about 2, she admitted that he was always a challenge as he gave her very precise instructions and woe betide her if she got it wrong.

Tonight Pam, our Mike's ex well surpassed me on the Blue Peter thing as she had handmade two brilliant decorations, one was a manga pic (Chris was very into drawing such things) and on it was written 'Dont cry because it is over, smile because it happened' and the other was a drawing of our Rodney the kitten he made me adopt and just says 'remember'

How brilliant all of this stuff is, I can honestly say I feel quite smiley tonight, I really do.

I'm probably going to bore any readers stupid from now until 2008 about this tree, so 100 points and a coconut if you're still reading on the 2nd of Jan.

The CHRISmas Tree.

We've always loved Christmas here, we're one of those family's who probably wildly overdo it in fact but we're not doing it this year as its far too painful to remember previous one's, so no cards, no pressys, none of the decorations from the attic and no huge credit card bill.....see, there's good and bad in everything.

The one concession we are making is a weeny tree. We asked family and Chris's friends to send something that reminded them of him to put on this weeny tree and its turned out to be a winner, its also made us smile at some of the things that have appeared.

Steve next door sent his weather vein which has two holes in it, apparently a confession was made to him by Lee Chris's mate....'that was me an Pee (Chris's nickname) with the air rifle' he said.

A fiver someone owed him.

Jessica rabbit (because he fancied her)

Much guinness stuff

Rupert (he collected the annuals)

A butterfly from me mum (she has a signed painting of one that Chris did for her)

A postcard of the Millenium bridge in Newcastle (my first excursion to see a mate after Chris's transplant)

I got all Blue Peterish and made a star out of straws and stuck a C in the middle as he always wiped his straw all over my face or in my hair after a calshake and he used sticky letters to put my name on my phones.

A string of kinder toys from Mike, they had an ongoing game of some sort with a massive kinder thing which involved more than I have room to write here.

A beany dog, this one involved the whole family and our good friend Eve it was similar to hide and seek but got silly.

A bit of wood stolen from a neighbours garden over the field, bloody hell that was some barbeque due to my Scottish friend shouting 'Mir wid' into the early hours of the morning and her and Chris haring off to nick it from Charlie's garden saying he'll never ever use the amount he's got stacked by his shed.

Homer Simpson from John because Chris reckoned his dad was Homers long lost twin.

There's a hat on the way as well, anyone who regularly reads my blog will be familiar with the significance of that one.

There's more to come and I will update later with a pic of the tree as I've had a few requests to post about it, meanwhile a massive 'Thank you' to Sandy for sharing this idea with me, I was dubious at first but its made us smile and that takes some doing just now.

Oli's doing well as well.....YAY!!!!!!!!!

Much love to all.
xxx

Bloody Christmas.

Christmas is proving to be a hard time for us as a family so I'm taking some time out now.

As Captain Cook said 'I may be some time'

Much love to all
xxx

Oli

If I ever needed a smile putting on my face it was this week, and I now have one that big I've dislocated me jaw.

Oli got his transplant last night which is such good news, I have followed his blog for ages and ages because he was listed the same time as our Chris, but has waited two and a half years with a fair few false alarms in between. The last week of his blog has been a hard read as he'd obviously got to that point when life becomes an impossible struggle. Words are difficult to find, suffice to say I am sooooo happy for him and his family and friends.

To the family and friends of the donor, thank you so much for giving Oli a new start.




http://www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk/

Our Rodney

Its a year today that a pathetic little kitten turned up at our back door and I was talked into adopting it. Chris wittered away at me about how thin it was and cold and hungry, in the end I gave in, I was always going to be on a loser really one because I love cat's and two because when his mind was made up he just went on and on and on until anything would be agreeable to shut him up.

She is probably the naughtiest cat I have ever come across but I love her to bits, she's made us all laugh loads and I'm sure if she was a human John would divorce me and marry her no problem. Anyway, I decided to do a bit of a blog about it being a year since she arrived because I can't believe that it was that long ago, I was talking to someone this very morning about how time flies, I won't add the 'when you're enjoying it' because that would be a bit black even for me. While looking for a more up to date photo of her I was amused to find this one, if you can't read what the subtitles say its 'You have the gift for bringing joy and laughter into the world' just a coincidence do you think? or was she always meant to come here to keep us smiling.

Who know's.........you decide.

P.S. I don't normally have that much rubbish on my breakfast bar, actually it's Sunday isn't it. I do normally have that much rubbish on my breakfast bar.

Oh yeah and since when were UNMIXT, MACON, JUNGLY and WADI real words, bloody Scrabble, I'm sure it makes them up, wouldnt have my ZEN this morning though and that is a real word ner..............

School, bags and birds.

The second Eastern dance class went very well I thought, I'm a wee bit more in sync now and even volunteered to be one of the first to do the figure eight across the room with everyone watching.

Figure 8:

Take yourself back to primary school days, the hula hoop....with me so far, now whilst doing the hoop bob up and down on the balls of your feet and travel across a distance of about 25ft, slowly. Seconds after I said to Wend I can do this bit the teacher tapped me on the shoulder and started to explain what I was doing wrong......there's always next week eh!

I bought a bag today, had to pay full price for it which didnt go down well, I dont like handbags, they're on my list of hateful objects so I usually buy one from The Heart Foundation or War on Want, but they only had massive one's or weeny one's so I shelled out £6 in Peacocks and got this thing.

It came from Asia and is similar to the now reknown bird flu, I have a generous dose of it and I'm not happy that I couldnt make church on Sunday, had to opt out of a reunion tonight and can't make it for an overnight stay with a good buddy on Friday. The positives, because I always root for them are:

It hasn't affected my appetite, well nothing ever does, I even asked for a corned beef butty while in labour, in fact I demanded one and got it.

Positive number 2, I must not exert myself, yeah right this one I can do.

Positive number 3, It appears to increase one's sex drive so I challenged hubby to a game of scrabble yesterday and melted me eyes at him over his score of 50, but he was glazed at the prospect of triumph so missed the point.

On a more serious note, Christmas is fast approaching and I want to say a huge thank you to my friend Sandy, the tree idea seems to be going down well and its given me something to focus on for the day itself. Will blog more about that later.

Much love to all, try the hoop thing I dare ya.

Shake it baby

I went to the Eastern dancing class last night, it was interesting I'll give it that, however when anybody says to me now 'I've been to the gym' I'll not be impressed in fact I'll mutter to myself 'woosy' because the gym is easy peasy compared to the torture that go's under the name of belly dancing. For a start I have a coordination problem, when she said turn I did and everybody was facing me, not once but every single bloody time. When she said kick your left leg out, out went my right and when she said forward then back I got my feet in a knot.

That lot I laughed about but when the bit with the hips was repeated for the hundredth time I wondered whether she was taking the p**s, throw your hip out like your shutting a car door with it she said, no problem I whacked it and again she said, now do it a million times in the next 10 minutes. I don't know about you but I might close a door with my hip once a week, try doing it 20 times in the space of a minute its hard believe me. She did approach me a few times to tell me to do it this way but I still couldnt get it so just sort of did my own thing and smiled broadly at everyone, it didnt help that my two friends were brill at it even though Wend had bruised her coxyx(sp).

This is a shimee belt and it jangles in time with the hip moves, mine was constantly jangling as I tried desperately to get the rhytmn. All good fun and I'll try anything once, I will have another go because I don't like anything to beat me but I'm glad we have a week to recover because everything aches like hell even my fingers.

Quick.....I'm late!

Quick blog so my good friend has something to read.

My week times 5.

Take hubby to work
Have a quick go on scrabby
Go to work
Do shopping
Have a quick go on scrabby
Pick hubby up from work
Go to gym
Have a quick go on scrabby
Eat
Fall asleep having last go on scrabby

Thats it, except tonight is a bit different as I'm going to belly dancing classes....Do Not Laugh!

Love to all.